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Blogmanac team
Jeannine Wilson (USA)
Veralynne Pepper (USA)
Pip Wilson (Australia)
Carpe diem!
Seize the day with more than 150 articles at Wilson's articles department
This blog is dedicated to the 353 victims of the SIEVX disaster,
and casualties of poverty and authority all around the planet
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Friday, March 04, 2005
Can CNN, BBC get away with this corpse show in ‘sensitive’ Manhattan?
"Six months after 9/11, a CBS documentary on the attack on the Twin Towers censored visuals of a woman burning to death. 'The image was so terrible,' a programme producer at the US channel explained, 'I made a decision not to film it. It’s not something anybody should see, or want to see.'
"In the aftermath of the worst terrorist attack on American soil, the networks were remarkably correct. 'Sensitive coverage', 'respectful of victims', 'no violation of privacy': the buzzphrases flew thick and fast."
Until [the Asian tsunami tragedy], they even seemed believable. Unlike the aftermath of 9/11 — when not one dead body was shown on screen, not one ghastly image recorded for posterity, and about the only objectionable visual was of a man jumping to his death — Asia’s tsunami is open season.
"Take the shots from CNN’s 10.00 pm bulletin ... From Tamil Nadu, we see rows of dead bodies, a man carrying his dead child and, perhaps as primetime stomach churner, people reaching out to hold a child’s corpse.
"From Banda Aceh, Indonesia, come pictures of rescue workers carrying victims, all arms and legs really, not quite the composure and dignity they may have wanted to put on for a TV shoot. The rows and rows of bodies continue — southern Sri Lanka one second, Thailand the next."
Source: The Indian Express [It's from December 29 but I only found it today.]
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International Day of Protest on the second anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq
March 19, 2005, will be an International Day of Protest on the second anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq. As on the first anniversary of the invasion last year, millions of people around the world will march to say “No to War and Occupation from Iraq to Palestine to Haiti and Everywhere.”
Source: IndyMedia
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9-11 timeline synopsis
We have posted 9-11 timeline info here before. Here is a nice synopsis that makes easier reading. Thanks, Almaniac Star Light from Washington, USA.
"9/11 was one of the most pivotal events in world history. Its impact will be felt for years to come. You owe it to yourself to go beyond the sound bites and the simplified official story. This is an extremely complicated story with numerous players and motives. Not everything makes sense or fits neatly together. It's a story full of espionage, deceit, and lies. But if there are forces out there tricking us, they can only succeed if we, the general public, remain ignorant and passive.
"I am limiting my sources to only those one might call 'mainstream.' Why? It's not because I believe one can only trust the mainstream media. In fact, I feel the opposite is true - much of the best reporting today is coming from alternative media. But many people are initially very skeptical. A lot of material I found looking around the web seemed very hard to believe when I first saw it. My goal is to use mainstream sources to generally open eyes to new possibilities."
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Doublespeak
By Julian Burnside
"Outside the realm of high art, language is intended to convey meaning. Ideally, it should do so accurately. Some writers and speakers betray this ideal, and use language as a sham to mask an intellectual void; or worse, as a stalking horse for quite different ideas they dare not acknowledge. ...
"Tact is kind; diplomacy is useful; euphemism is harmless and sometimes entertaining. By contrast, doublespeak is dishonest and dangerous.
"In his closing address at Nuremberg, US prosecutor Robert Jackson said:
"'Nor is the lie direct the only means of falsehood. [the Defendants] all speak with a Nazi double talk with which to deceive the unwary. In the Nazi dictionary of sardonic euphemisms "final solution" of the Jewish problem was a phrase which meant extermination; "special treatment" of prisoners of war meant killing; "protective custody" meant concentration camp; "duty labor" meant slave labor; and an order to "take a firm attitude" or "take positive measures" meant to act with unrestrained savagery.'
"When Soviet tanks invaded Prague in 1968, the manoeuvre was described as “fraternal internationalist assistance to the Czechoslovak people”.
"The war in Vietnam produced such doublespeak expressions as:
"Collateral damage meaning killing innocent civilians
Energetic disassembly meaning nuclear explosion
Incontinent ordnance meaning bombs which hit schools and hospitals by mistake
Active defence meaning invasion.
"Doublespeak uses language to smuggle uncomfortable ideas into comfortable minds. The Nazi regime were masters at it. Many governments today are enthusiastic imitators.
"The victims of incontinent ordnance, or active defence, or fraternal internationalist assistance often flee for safety. A small number of them arrive in Australia asking for help. They commit no offence under Australian or international law by arriving here without an invitation, in order to seek protection. Nonetheless the Australian Government refers to them as 'illegals'. This is done for a purpose: these people are immediately locked up without trial. No doubt it seems less offensive to lock up 'illegals' than to lock up the innocent, traumatised human beings that they are.
"They are also disparaged as 'queue jumpers': a neat device which falsely suggests two things. First that there is a queue, and second that it is in some way appropriate to stand in line when your life is at risk.
"When the 'illegals/queue jumpers' arrive, they are 'detained' This means that they are locked up without trial, for an indefinite period - typically months or years. If necessary, they can be detained for the rest of their lives.
"Baxter detention centre is surrounded by a 9000 volt electric fence. But in the doublespeak of the Department of Immigration, this is an 'energised courtesy fence'.
Solitary confinement, which is regularly used, is called ‘separation detention’ or ‘the management unit’ ..."
Source: Perspective
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Big Brother Is Here — Microsoft Gets Power to Search and Destroy on Your System
From Lisa:
TECH PRIVACY ENEMY #1
Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.)
This alert came from my local linux user group (LUG). Find a LUG near you and escape the evil clutches of M$!
Big Brother Is Here — Microsoft Gets Power to Search and Destroy on Your System
Posted by Wee-san on Thursday, February 17 @ 06:50:46 CST
A U.S. House of Representatives committee has readied H.R. 29, the Securely Protect Yourself Against Cyber Trespass Act (SPY ACT) [Another deceptively cutesy acronym, à la PATRIOT ACT –L.], to allow software vendors to scan user systems, and "interact" with them to determine any breach of proprietary rights. While the bill continues prohibitions against spyware, phishing schemes and other hostile actions against end-users, it also retains a curious provision threatening users and their right to due process and privacy in use of proprietary (commercial) software.
The obscure, anti-user provision at issue allows Microsoft or any software vendor to scan user systems and (implicitly) to take whatever actions deemed appropriate in determining compliance with its own view of licensing terms.
In effect, the legislation skips due process altogether in license infringement disputes. By allowing Microsoft or any other software provider freedom to conduct vigilante-style search-and-destroy missions on user systems, the bill undermines the rule of law (and its protections) for all consumers. The clear presumption is the user is guilty of piracy if Microsoft or another vendor says so, and there is no appeal, only suffering whatever action the software vendor deems appropriate to protect its property.
By allowing such interaction with a user system, this bill makes the software vendor sheriff, judge, jury and executioner in suspected software piracy cases. Currently, Microsoft scans millions of end-user systems by permission, but only to determine patch requirements for an installed Windows operating system. While there is no explicit authorization or prohibition of more aggressive policies, such as disabling program code and/or data, MS has not publicly pushed for power to do so, fearing a user backlash.
The legislative amendment is effectively a quiet, post-election gift to Microsoft by GOP Rep. Cliff Stearns (FL) [Remember the days when M$ was rightfully sweating it out in a courtroom because of its monopolistic business practices? With the Rethugs in charge, those days are gone! –L.], who otherwise would be first to champion full protection for your individual rights and privacy. [IMHO, the author has our current neocons in Republican clothing confused with what the ideals of the Republican party used to be! These days, if you want government to stay out of your business, you have to go libertarian. –L.] In contrast to such high ideals, this legislation is the purest example of cyber-surveillance. While surreptitious, remote actions are commonly employed by hackers and spyware, the bill authorizes exactly the same extra-legal actions by Microsoft and others.
Further erosion of privacy comes from the bill's relaxed provision for network monitoring for purposes of maintenance, repair/diagnostics, security or crime detection. It relaxes legislative protections for privacy to allow online intelligence-gathering by security agencies, exempting such activity from provisions of the notice and consent requirements of the bill. Action on the bill by the full House is expected in the next few days.
Here is the story about which Wee-san wrote the commentary... which was deceptively titled House Cuts Cookies From SPY ACT:
By Roy Mark
February 16, 2005
With little fuss and no debate [What else is f'n new? –L.], a House subcommittee today amended an anti-spyware bill to clarify that the legislation does not cover third-party cookies.
H.R. 29, the Securely Protect Yourself Against Cyber Trespass Act (SPY ACT), prohibits unfair or deceptive practices related to spyware and requires an opt-in notice and consent regime for legal software that collects personally identifiable information from consumers.
The spyware practices prohibited by the legislation include phishing, keystroke logging, homepage hijacking and ads that can't be closed except by shutting down a computer. Violators could face civil penalties of up to $3 million.
At a January hearing on the legislation, concerns were raised that the bill would unfairly target third-party cookies, although lawmakers insisted that was not their intent and expressed their desire to reach a compromise on the issue.
"This amendment otherwise clarifies an excellent bill," [Excellent?! for the plutocracy, maybe! –L.] said Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.), chairman of the House Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection [How about CORPORATE protection?! F*** the consumer! –L.]. "The bill should not penalize authentic use of the technology. It [the bill] does not apply to cookies, including third-party cookies."
First-party cookies are placed from the same domain the user clicks on and are solely used to allow the user to access a Web site, most typically by allowing the site to remember a user name and password. Advertisers, publishers and their service providers use third-party cookies to serve, rotate, target, cap, measure and report on online advertising.
"This is an all-out technology arms race [against bad actors]," Stearns said. "This bill will help us win that race."
The bill permits computer software providers to interact with a user's computer without notice and consent to determine whether the user is authorized to use the software. [Scary translation: M$, or any other company whose software you use, has the right to poke around your computer, totally unsupervised. The AOL employee selling lists of customer names is just one example of privacy breaches... can you imagine how vulnerable you'll be if they can invade your desktop?! I don't even want to think about it. –L.] Network monitoring is also exempted from the provisions of the notice and consent requirements of the bill to the extent that the monitoring is for network or security purposes [A bone thrown to employers who want to monitor employees? –L.], diagnostics, technical support or repair [Like the ISP diagnostic software I refused to install? BTW, my connection works just fine! –L.], or the detection or prevention of fraudulent activities. [Carnivore, anyone? –L.]
The bill next goes to the full House Energy and Commerce Committee. Chairman Joe Barton (R-Tex.) said he "expects this bill on the floor very quickly." The Senate has yet to hold any hearings on spyware. [The lack of action by the Senate is either our last hope, or the last sign that we've lost all hope! –L.]
[This is a classic case of giving with one hand while picking your pocket with the other! This legislation will no doubt be as impotent as anti-spamming laws (yeah, they undertake big prosections for show... but, really, has the amount of spam in your inbox decreased? I thought not.), thus providing the consumer zero protection... while simultaneously robbing the PAYING customer of control of the product they BOUGHT! Ba$tard$! –L.]
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Blogroll Us Thursday, March 03, 2005
Where was JFK When He Heard That I was Shot?
John Clarke's poetry parodies are a hoot
This is hilarious (audio): John Clarke, Dip. Lid (Hons), PhD in Cattle (Oxen), reads such famous Aussie poets as Thomas the Tank Hardy, Sir Don Betjeman, Walter Burley Yeats, Emmy Lou Dickinson, Dylan Thompson, b b cummings and William Esther Williams. Hear such great works as 'Pommymandias', 'The Love Song of J Arthur Purpend' and 'Where was JFK When He Heard That I was Shot?'.
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Blogroll Us Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Feast day of St Chad (Ceadda)
Ceadda was actually a pre-Christian deity of healing springs and holy wells. His symbol was Crann Bethadh, the tree of life.
St Chad lore for wells and fountains
Today is the day to clean and groom holy wells and fountains, known in Britain as well-dressing. Other days include Ascension Day, when in places such as Lichfield in England, villagers walked around the boundaries of the cathedral precinct area, carrying elm boughs and beating the eight places where wells had once been or still were present. In some places, such as Wirksworth, England, Pentecost Day was a day for well dressing.
Wells traditionally have mystical significance. Even today, wishing wells are common in parks and even may be found in shopping malls ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with many more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date (or your birthday) when you're there.
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'Kill the President' soars in the charts!
Well, maybe not really, but it's doing OK
The mystery code-and-clues humour poem, 'Kill the President', has been in progress for a few months now, growing by about one verse a day ( now 162 verses).
About a month ago, when I googled those three magic words, 'Kill the President', it wasn't even on the radar screen of about 44,000 results, because of a song of that name by the popular band Origin. Plus all the other sites that have those words and get more hits.
Today it comes in third (try it), just after a Yahoo! News story about some plot to kill the president, and a story about the assassination of US President James Garfield.
I don't bother with a hit meter on that page, but it must be getting a lot of traffic to rise in the google ranks so dramatically. (Yes, this is a brag piece, with a view to getting some more hits. I don't have an agent, gotta do the promo meself.)
The poem got a rave review from a British book editor (Oxford University Press, no less). Douglas Houston wrote:
"The twenty-first century has not, to my knowledge, produced any
long poems of any note, but I’m slipping a tip to literary history to keep an
eye on this one." Check the review out here.
There's an online forum, called 'Kalliope', for people who want to crack the clues and codes in the whodunnit. Anyone is allowed to join, except me -- because I'm the guy writing the clues. I'm sure you'll be made welcome, though.
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Beware blogspot.com 'Next Blog' link
Ever clicked 'Next Blog' at the top of a Blogger blog and instead of finding something great like the Blogmanac, your computer starts flashing lights and ringing alarms? I have. Beware. Others have pointed it out too:
Spyware warning: be careful of Blogspot.com "next blog" link
So I wrote a little something, but it's not exactly on topic, but what the hell:
I got them sit down, cain't cry,
oh Lord I wanna die, woman on the Next Blog blues
I tried on a brand new blog this morning,
Cause that old Next Blog don't work no more
I tried on a brand new blog this morning,
Cause that old Next Blog mama don't work no more
Gonna change my way of living,
Ain't nothing like it was before
Where did that woman get to
That Next Blog babe I seen
Where did that woman get to
That Next Blog mama I seen
I shouldn't never have clicked her off
That Next Blog button treat me soooo mean
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'Guantanamo Guidebook' TV show
'Brutal, must-watch TV'
"It says something deeply peculiar about British TV when a piece of angry political polemic ends up looking like an extreme reality show. For the past few weeks, Channel 4 viewers have gloated as celebrities vomit tepid water, drink their own urine and balance atop 20ft-high poles in Celebrity Extreme Detox. So what’s so different about seven blokes volunteering for a course of sleep-disturbance, enforced nudity, violent temperature change and arduous physical exercise?
 "Well, mainly that the victims in Torture: The Guantanamo Guidebook are undergoing what Jon Snow insists is the real regime for suspected terrorists at Camp Delta. It is anything but amusing. In fact, many of the US military’s techniques not only flout the Geneva Convention but fall within the United Nations definition of torture. Three of the volunteers failed to last 48 hours, and attempted suicides at Guantanamo were averaging two a week until the Pentagon slashed the rate by redefining them as instances of 'manipulative self-injurious behaviour'.
"Public enemy No 1 is Donald Rumsfeld, whose name pops up more frequently than Captain Hook at a Peter Pan panto. The programme will undoubtedly get trashed by some as bleeding-heart liberalism and a cheap stunt to boot. But Snow insists that there is no evidence that any useful information has been extracted in this way. And, anyway, how can you defend democracy and the rule of law by violating both? Either way, it’s a disturbing cocktail. What was it Germaine Greer said about reality TV and fascist states?"
Source: Times Online
[I head an interview with the show's director, a woman who said that they used mainly declassified US Government documents to make the show, but did not go anywhere near as far as the real US officers with brutality in filming the Gitmo procedures, as they were advised that the victims could suffer permanent damage. The people who were subjected to the torture on TV said at the end that they would have confessed to anything. This is what the US, Britain, Australia, et al, are basing their 'war on terror' on?]
"Of the seven, only four make it to the end of the 48-hour ordeal – one is withdrawn by doctors after just seven hours due to hypothermia."
Source: Confessions of a justified torturer
Channel 4 is condemned over torture TV show
Google News guantanamo guidebook
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Blogroll Us Monday, February 28, 2005
 Veggie Van Gogh
"Veggie Van Gogh is transportation, warehouse, and living quarters for Carol and Jan, gypsy artisans who criss-cross North America, peddling their wares at arts & crafts festivals, powered by waste vegetable oil ...
"How do you haul art around to festivals and live somewhat comfortably "on the road" without exhorbitant [sic] hotel fees? Even more importantly, how do you do that in an environmentally sustainable manner? ...
"For two years, we used a tiny Scamp travel trailer, pulled by a gas-hog step van, dubbed Van d'Art. Then I did my taxes, and discovered that I spent more on gasoline than I earned -- that truck was digging me deeper in debt! ...
"Veggie Van Gogh runs on waste vegetable oil (WVO) that we harvest for free from restaurants along the way! It has VASTLY reduced pollutants, comes from American farmers instead of conquered Middle East nations, and has a pleasant, french-fry odor while driving, unlike the stench that comes from most other diesel vehicles ..."
Source: Bytesmiths
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Happy birthday! We are throwing you out of Britain!
From Lisa:
[This kind of thing is becoming all to common around the world and, unbeknownst to the majority of Americans, in the United States. -v]
Happy birthday. We are throwing you out of Britain
By James Blake and Terry Kirby
His mother was shot dead for her political beliefs.
So was his father. He was looked after by foster parents
in London until he turned 18. Then he was locked up so
that he can be 'dumped' abroad. Soon we'll be doing this
to 16-year-olds...
He could be any teenager, relaxing in a London park, wearing his favourite football shirt, but last night Blerim Mlloja was in a detention centre awaiting deportation to Albania, a country he considers foreign and where he believes his life would be in danger.
Two weeks ago, Mr Mlloja, not long turned 18, took a day off school, put on his smartest clothes and went to the Home Office's immigration directorate in Croydon. He thought it was one of his routine, regular meeting with officials.
His foster mother, Mary Watts, who has looked after him for three years, waved him off from their home in south London. She had no reason to worry. Instead, he never came back, and Mrs Watts, sick with worry, has not seen him since.
For, as the Government trumpeted its apparent success yesterday in reducing the number of asylum-seekers applying to stay in this country, the tale of Mr Mlloja highlights the reality faced by many young people living here. Unaccompanied child asylum-seekers deemed at risk are often accepted at first but once they turn 18 they are sent back. Soon, in a pilot scheme, the age limit is likely to be dropped to 16 for asylum-seekers from Albania, a country deemed to be safe.
While yesterday's figures did show a reduction in the number of asylum applications, they also showed that the number of failed claimants being deported is falling. That helps to fuel the political and media furore, and, in turn, means the Home Office is intensifying its efforts to remove easy targets, such as Mr Mlloja.
Clive Efford, the Labour MP for Eltham, who has taken up the case, said: "Outside the current climate of hysteria over immigration, Blerim might have been looked on more sympathetically. To say he can build a life here, to be taken into the heart of a foster family and then told 'you're 18 now — so you must go' is unfair. It doesn't take into account the individual cases".
When he arrived at the immigration offices Mr Mlloja was arrested by officials and sent to a detention centre near Heathrow, pending deportation. He has been held there while Mrs Watts and lawyers fight a desperate rearguard action. They argue that Mr Mlloja, both of whose parents were shot dead in separate incidents, knows no other home. They fear his life would be in danger if he was "dumped" back on the streets of Albania. He was beaten up by police before managing to reach this country three years ago.
Mrs Watts, aged 66, of Eltham, said yesterday: "This is his home and we are his family now. He's got no one, and nowhere else to go. He is settled here and has an English girlfriend. He should not be made to leave.
"It was very cruel the way they took him. It's like he was kidnapped. They tricked us and they didn't even phone me to tell me." [That's the big, stinking dead fish in this story... WHY would it be necessary to "disappear" someone like that for a "legal" proceeding?! –L.]
Mr Mlloja's mother was shot dead in Tirana, the Albanian capital, when Blerim was three years old. She was involved in the anti-Communist uprisings. His father, a bodyguard for a leading democratic politician, put his son into a children's home. When he was 12, one of his father's friends came to tell him he too had been killed. He was murdered alongside the politician he was protecting.
After that, Blerim was arrested twice and beaten up by officers who wanted information about his parents. His father's friend helped him to escape to Britain at the age of 15.
While living with Mrs Watts in Eltham for the past three years, he has been attending a local school and was among a number of local teenage asylum-seekers who took part in a film, funded by Channel 4, called Birthday Boy. It addresses the precise predicament he finds himself in now.
The film was shown last autumn, around the time the Home Office rejected his application to stay in this country after he turned 18. Because of a mix-up, his solicitor failed to lodge an appeal, allowing the Home Office to detain him once his birthday passed on 1 December. Although Mr Mlloja has spent the last two weeks believing deportation was imminent, his lawyers succeeded yesterday in their application for a judicial review of the case, delaying deportation for a few weeks. But he remains in custody and, despite the glimmer of hope, few have succeeded in overturning the Home Office's decision.
Since arriving in Britain, Mr Mlloja has had regular sessions with John Barcroft, a child psychiatrist. Dr Barcroft wrote a report for the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture, arguing that he should not be deported for health reasons.
Dr Barcroft said: "It's quite crazy to keep people in this country and then ship them back as soon as they turn 18. He grew up in a children's home where he was not allowed to go out and was under constant threat. Everyone should have some sort of childhood. Here, at last, he's found someone who can parent him."
Mrs Watts said: "I was just given him to look after — as a son and he calls me 'mum' now. I was never told that he'd be taken from me. He's such a lovely boy and there is a big bond between us. He's got a home here with brothers and sisters and they all love him too.'
"He has been reluctant to make too many plans but his experience with the film encouraged him to think he might have a future as an actor."
Mr Mlloja is forbidden to have visitors at Colnbrook detention centre, but he is allowed to use the phone. He said: "It is like a prison here. I keep getting panic attacks. I've seen people try to kill themselves and I have thought about it too. And it's so cold, I keep asking the officers for extra blankets, but they tell me no."
<">SOURCE
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Blogroll Us Sunday, February 27, 2005
Ancient city discovered in India
After tsunami, ruins found
 "MAHABALIPURAM - Indian archaeologists have found what they believe are undersea 'stone structures' that could be the remains of an ancient port city off India's southern coast, officials say.
"The archaeologists learnt of the structures after locals reported spotting a temple and several sculptures when the sea pulled back briefly just before deadly tsunamis smashed into the coastline December 26."
Source: Khaleej Times Online
Pic: Archeologists investigate an ancient artifact uncovered by the tsunami at Mahabalipuram, India. (AP photo)
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 USA forces Iraq in GMOs
By David Wilson
"Seems the total Americanisation of Iraq is the goal; latest news is that the Interim Administrator Paul Bremer has left imposing legislation on the new Iraqi Government, and specifically Order 81, on Patent, Industrial Design, Undisclosed Information, Integrated Circuits and plant variety. This Order 81 overrides all other laws in Iraq, and all original Patent laws of 1970, which in accordance with Iraqi constitution prohibited private ownership of biological resources, and undermines Iraq's food security.
"Iraq is home to the oldest agricultural traditions in the world. Previously they seed-saved and exchanged plant materials between farms and farming communities. This new law deprives these traditional farmers all this. Under the NEW US Order 81, they are not allowed to seed-save or exchange plant materials and they are only allowed to purchase from transactional agribusiness corporations. This US Order 81 introduces under law, a system of private monopoly rights over seeds and will force Iraqi farmers to rely on big US corporations to buy their yearly crop seeds for planting ..."
Source: CROPO, Official Journal of the Coffs Regional Organic Producers’ Organisation Inc, Issue 129; PO Box 363, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450, Australia; Website
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Turning crap into ex-crap
I wanted to be a Leap Year Day Baby but my mother went and had me exactly a year late. Typical. With my birthday just around the hump, I have been thinking about what I would like to get as a present.
For Christmas some woman gave me a bunch of little plastic tubes of men's toiletries that I suppose she got for free for spending a few thousand dollars on female cosmetics. One of the 15ml tubes is called Nivea for Men Double Action Face Wash, Vitamin Enriched. That means "soap". In fact, it's not even soap, it's detergent. You could wash your dishes with it if you could bear eating off plates that smell like Belsen.
The list of "vitamins" on the back of the tube is so long they've had to print it in about minus 6-point type, and I can't read it even with my glasses on, but I think I can make out a couple of words: "Phenoxyethonol", and "Methyldibromo Glutomonitrite", or something like that. I only read that after I'd used it once because I'm a cheapskate and the stuff was free. Of course, the whole box and dice, every damn tube, is now in my garbage bin but now I feel guilty about polluting the city's landfill. One of the tubes is something called "Shower gel" and it says it "Turns water into care". Harrr!! Who writes their shtick? And it does that with a half-life of only 50,000 years. The shower gel, too, has a list of about 50 Frankenstein vitamins on the back in minus 6-point type. I'm turning detergent into garbage. I'm turning crap into ex-crap. Bye-bye, gel.
Do people really buy stuff like this? I suppose they must. I'm scared what shite I might get for my birthday again this year. One person, over the years, has given me seven (count 'em, seven!) watches. I guess because they notice that I never wear a watch, that would be the perfect gift for me. Or they somehow noticed I have a vast watch collection in a box under my bed so they know exactly what to get me.
This site has a list of bad Christmas presents, but I couldn't find a list of bad birthday prezzies. I should write one some day, cause I know a bit about it.
Last year I got one great Chrissie prezzie though, and that was from Baz le Tuff. Le Tuff and Mister Peg, two old frinds of mine, give good gift. He gave me a glass ashtray on which he got someone to engrave on the bottom a picture of Whiteman walking with the Yeti. Anything Robert Crumb is good, and Whiteman and Yeti particularly so. I'd like an Angelfood McSpade ashtray too. You can never have too many ashtrays, and you can never get enough Angelfood McSpade. A Snoid biscuit tin would be nice, and I really need a Flakey Foont that nods its head. Le Tuff, are you reading this? I know he is. He does a lot, but he never leaves comments. Aloof. A lurker. I wish I could be cool like that. I always leave comments on people's blogs, can't help myself. I like getting the click-back I guess. Mr le Tuff doeesn't have anything to click back to, at least, nothing he will allow the world to see. I think it might be a legal consideration.
When people ask me what I want for my birthday, I say I want them to give the money to Amnesty International or Worldwide Fund for Nature. Sometimes that works and you get something really good.
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