Exposed: mad mastermind of 9/11 & London

In all the melee, it hasn't been noticed (Ah, the fools, the fools!) that Australian Prime Minister John Howard was in Washington on 9/11 and now in London when more bombings occurred.

Cleverly disguised as a bald, boring accountant with a smirk, irritating voice and charisma bypass, John Winston Howard is in fact the mastermind of the outrages. Yes, hard to believe, but true.

What is this e-vil criminal's deadly plan? We reveal it today for the first time in the Blogmanac. Not content with the havoc of urban terrorism, Howard has carefully drafted a plan for world domination. Psychologists Wilson's Blogmanac has engaged to analyse the fetid mind of this monster have concluded that in compensation for his lack of original thought and in revenge against being branded at school the "Least Imaginative Student of 1863", Howard cunningly plotted the deaths of 100,000 people in the Middle East for which his putative friends and bottoms-to-lick, George W Bush and Tony Blair, are calculated to take the blame.

Now that this wicked goal has already been achieved, documents have come to light that prove that this monster is set to invade Poland ... and then the world. These documents, some of them scrawled on the back of a Hurstville Methodist Church hymn sheet in 1876, are frighteningly plain and disclose a monomania of abominable scale: "Today the mid-week prayer meeting, tomorrow the world."