Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Cars Vs Computers

For  all of us who feel only the deepest love and  affection for the way computers have enhanced  our lives, read on. (Thanx Colin Tonks for sending this one.)

At  a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates  reportedly compared the computer industry with  the auto industry and stated,

'If  Genearl Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In  response to Gates's comments, General Motors issued a press release, stating:

If  GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following  characteristics.

1.  For no reason whatsoever, your car would  crash ... Twice a day.

2..  Every time they repainted the lines in the road,  you would have to buy a new  car.

3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway  for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut  off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows  before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.  Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and  refuse to restart, in which case you would have  to reinstall the engine.

5.  Macintosh would make a car that was powered by  the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and  twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6.  The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7.  The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio  antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced car buyers  would have to learn how to drive all over again  because none of the controls would operate in  the same manner as the old car.

10.  You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn  the engine off.

PS  We'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign  language how to fix your car yourself.

(This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm)

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmmmmm...
Check out http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp
Peter G

10:08 AM  
Blogger Pip said...

Peter, are you serious? It's OBVIOUSLY a joke.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure, Pip.
But maybe not all your readers are as astute as your good self. This story has been peddled around as fact for quite some time.
Cheers
Peter G

9:40 AM  

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