Monday, December 17, 2007

Discomfiometer is a word needed by the English language

English has the greatest vocabulary of all languages, but it has certain words lacking. That's perhaps a very scungeous situation but it can be corrected.

The Brazilians have a superb term regarding a person who doesn't pick up people's vibes -- someone who is oblivious to the fact that they are boring someone, or annoying them. We've all met such people. The Brazilians say he or she doesn't have a 'discomfiometer'. It's an excellent word that I use myself and hope it will prosper in English.

People without a discomfiometer regale dinner parties with monologues about how Benjamin Disraeli was not as good an orator as some historians say. They phone you and the only apparent reason for doing so is to talk about the dress worn by the wife of their new pastor. At the pub, they rattle on about their ingrown toenail exudations. They make veiled and unveiled references to what they presume are your life motivations when they try to sign you up for Amway. They sing really badly in talent quests. They wear very short shorts covering grotesquely obese arses, or body shirts on skeletal chests.

People without a discomfiometer don't come straight out and ask you if you can help them move a fridge, or invite you to a party at their house. They start with "What are you doing on Saturday?"

This word is not found even once on Google, so ... here it is:

Discomfiometer. Ta daaa!

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