*Ø* Blogmanac | BUSH MISSED BILLBOARD OF OSAMA

60-Foot-Tall Sign Appeared Outside White House

"The Bush administration today grappled with allegations that President George W. Bush did not see a sixty-foot-tall billboard featuring Osama bin Laden that appeared suddenly across the street from the White House in August 2001.

"The gigantic billboard, which featured bin Laden’s stern visage and the words 'I AM GOING TO HIJACK U.S. AIRPLANES VERY SOON,' was first spotted by a UPS driver, Clayton Spedding, while making his morning deliveries on Pennsylvania Avenue.

"I was like, 'Didn’t there use to be a Bacardi ad up there?'" Mr. Spedding, 34, told reporters today.

After making his startling discovery, Mr. Spedding called the White House, but was told to call back when he had 'something more specific.'

As Mr. Bush’s apparent failure to notice the bin Laden billboard ignited a new round of finger-pointing in Washington, the President went on the offensive, warning the al-Qaeda kingpin to make future terror threats more explicit or 'face the consequences.'

In a nationally televised address, Mr. Bush said that all future terror threats that did not include 'the who, what, when, where and why' in the first paragraph 'would be completely and categorically ignored.'

In addition to Mr. bin Laden, Mr. Bush singled out Iran and North Korea for making terror threats that were not specific enough, calling them 'The Axis of Vagueness.'

As for the billboard of bin Laden, Mr. Bush said that once he was notified of its existence he took appropriate action: 'I asked the national security staff to find out if Saddam Hussein had put it up there.'

The Borowitz Report