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The Blogmanac: "On This Day" ... and much more
Think universally. Act terrestrially.
For in a hard-working society, it is rare and even subversive to celebrate too much, to revel and keep on reveling: to stop whatever you're doing and rave, pray, throw things, go into trances, jump over bonfires, drape yourself in flowers, stay up all night, and scoop the froth from the sea.
Anneli Rufus*
*Ø* Blogmanac | Recent search engine terms that have found the Blogmanac
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*Ø* Blogmanac May 1, 1626 | The Maypole of Merrymount
1626 New World: 'Pagan Pilgrim' Thomas Morton (1590? - 1646), royalist rake, a trader and lawyer, raised the Maypole with Amerindian allies.
Fed up with Puritan restrictions on life and liberty, Morton (calling himself mine Hoste of Mare Mount) and a Captain Wollaston had set up near the Plymouth Colony a fur-trading post in 1624 which they named Mare Mount – Mount by the Sea. Their Puritan neighbours saw through his pun and its suggestion of a rejection of Puritan values (for it was a place of revelry), and sneeringly called it 'Merrymount'.
When Morton set up a Maypole, with a poem attached and the whole shaft topped with antlers, all hell broke loose at the Plymouth colony nearby. Miles Standish’s Pilgrim stormtroopers invaded the free settlement, John Endicott chopped down the proud Maypole, scattered Merrymount's inhabitants, destroyed its houses and renamed the place Mount Dagon ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
It's the merrie, merrie month, as the English have long called the beautiful month of May.
Their ancestors, the Anglo-Saxons, called it thrimilce, because at this time of year cows can be milked three times a day. The modern name is thought by some scholars to come from the Latin Maia (consort of Jupiter, mother of Hermes), the goddess of growth and increase. It is also connected with major, because in the Northern Hemisphere, May is a beautiful time of Spring growth.
Despite the congeniality of the month, it was also an old belief that May is an unlucky month in which to be married. This superstition, current even today, is Roman in origin and was mentioned by the poet Ovid. Lovers should wait until the propitious month of June before tying the knot.
Those born in the first three weeks of May were born under the sign of Taurus, and from May 21 to June 21, Gemini is the ruling sun sign. Gemini represents the mythological twins Castor and Pollux, the twins of Leda, who appeared to sailors in storms with fires on their heads ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
Fireworks explode over St. Vitus cathedral at Prague Castle to mark the European Union's enlargement at midnight, Saturday, May 1, 2004, when the Czech Republic together with nine other countries, joined the EU. (CTK, Jan Trestik / AP)
"Electronic voting will now not be used at the polls in June, according to the Irish government.
"Voters in all constituencies will be using a paper ballot rather than voting electronically on 11 June following the publication of the interim report of the Independent Commission on Electronic Voting.
"It is impossible to certify the accuracy of the software used in the e-voting system, the report said, adding that the absence of an auditable voting trail is all the more worrying in light of the potential problems. Furthermore, a number of tests performed at the request of the commission identified an error in the count software which could have led to incorrect distributions of surplus votes, according to the 28-page document. 'There is a possibility that further testing will uncover further software errors,' noted the commission."
"There is a real crisis of leadership in Iraq -- with double standards and double speak on human rights", Amnesty International said today.
"The latest evidence of torture and ill-treatment emerging from Abu Ghraib prison will exacerbate an already fragile situation. The prison was notorious under Saddam Hussein -- it should not be allowed to become so again. Iraq has lived under the shadow of torture for far too long. The Coalition leadership must send a clear signal that torture will not be tolerated under any circumstances and that the Iraqi people can now live free of such brutal and degrading practices," Amnesty International said.
"There must be a fully independent, impartial and public investigation into all allegations of torture. Nothing less will suffice. If Iraq is to have a sustainable and peaceful future, human rights must be a central component of the way forward. The message must be sent loud and clear that those who abuse human rights will be held accountable."
"Our extensive research in Iraq suggests that this is not an isolated incident. It is not enough for the USA to react only once images have hit the television screens".
Amnesty International has received frequent reports of torture or other ill-treatment by Coalition Forces during the past year. Detainees have reported being routinely subjected to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment during arrest and detention. Many have told Amnesty International that they were tortured and ill-treated by US and UK troops during interrogation. Methods often reported include prolonged sleep deprivation; beatings; prolonged restraint in painful positions, sometimes combined with exposure to loud music; prolonged hooding; and exposure to bright lights. Virtually none of the allegations of torture or ill-treatment has been adequately investigated by the authorities.
Amnesty International is calling for investigations into alleged abuses by Coalition Forces to be conducted by a body that is competent, impartial and independent, and seen to be so, and that any findings of such investigations be made public. In addition reparation, including compensation, must be paid to the victims or to their families.
"The Ministry of Defence has launched an investigation into allegations that British soldiers have been pictured torturing an Iraqi prisoner.
"The photographs, obtained by the Daily Mirror newspaper, show a suspected thief being beaten and urinated on.
"The UK's most senior soldier, General Sir Mike Jackson, said if guilty, the men were not fit to wear the uniform.
"This follows revulsion expressed across the world by pictures of Iraqi prisoners being abused by US troops...
"BBC defence correspondent Paul Adams said the MoD was in a "tailspin" over the news, which threatened the British mission to win Iraqi "hearts and minds".
"The Mirror says the pictures were handed over by British soldiers who claimed a rogue element in the British army was responsible for abusing prisoners and civilians.
"Speaking on condition of anonymity, the soldiers from the Queen's Lancashire Regiment told the paper no charges were brought against the unnamed captive.
"They allege during his 8-hour ordeal he was threatened with execution, his jaw broken and his teeth smashed.
'Losing war'
"After being beaten and urinated on, he was driven away and dumped from the back of a moving vehicle, the soldiers claimed.
"They added they did not know whether he survived.
"The reason for making the photos public was, they said, to show why the US-UK coalition was encountering such fierce resistance in Iraq."
The wheel of the year has rolled a little further through the seasons and now we find ourselves at one of those eight stations of the year at which the veil between the mundane and spirit worlds is a little thinner.
The four main stations ('grand sabbats' in the Neopagan tradition) are the two equinoxes and two solstices.
Halfway between each of these are the other significant days, the lesser sabbats, together making this list:
Midwinter/Yule (Christmas), on the Winter Solstice Imbolc, on February 2 and the preceding eve Ostara, on the Spring Equinox Beltane/Beltaine/May Day on May 1 and the preceding eve Midsummer/Litha, on the Summer Solstice Lughnasadh (Lammas), on August 1 and the preceding eve Mabon, on the Autumn Equinox Samhain (Halloween), on the eve of October 31
We are now on the cusp of the (Northern Hemisphere's) halfway station between the Spring Equinox and the Summer Solstice, known as Beltaine. Watch out, spirits are about! – the wheel shows that it is directly opposite Samhain (Halloween); that is, six months from that other witching night.
Tonight's mischief is celebrated in the Harz Mountains of Germany, as well as in Finland and the Scandinavian countries. It is called Valborgsmassoafton in Swedish, Vappu in Finnish, Walpurgisnacht in German. On the eve of May Day, the Devil and the company of hexen, or witches, were once believed to hold revels on high places, especially Mount Brocken in the Harz range. In 1990 women's groups reclaimed the site ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
"Thousands of activists and organizers around the Western US will converge on San Francisco from June 3-9 to shut down the corporate takeover of basic life needs.
"While Savannah, Georgia will be the focus of G8 protests on East Coast, the West Coast G8 demonstrations will target the biotech industry's largest meeting of lobbyists and executives happening concurrently in San Francisco. However, this mobilization is much bigger than biotech.
"Organizers have put out a call to not only target the meetings, but to reclaim the city of San Francisco from the corporate oligarchs and return it to the people. They plan actions that will create free local food sources and community gathering spaces, as well as actions that will bring together groups working for global, environmental and racial justice.
"One focal point of the 'Reclaim the Commons' mobilization will be the shut down of the biotech industry meeting. The most widely discussed aspects of biotechnology relate to its incorporation into foods that humans consume and biological weapons. We live in a world where tomatoes can be manipulated to contain anti-freeze genes and every cell of a corn plant can be engineered to contain toxic pesticides. We live in a world where 'terminator technologies' can create plants incapable of producing fertile seeds, and where those plants are being shoved down the through of Developing Nations in order to make them more dependent on buying seeds.
"June 8, the opening day of the G8 meetings in Georgia, will be a day of mass action against the corporate empire. Pick your coast, but mobilize!!" Source: Indymedia
*Ø* Blogmanac | Pro-family groups worried as gay divorce rates soar
"Social conservatives opposed to gay unions have called on homosexuals experiencing marital difficulties to stay together in a bid to stem alarming increases in the rate of gay family breakdown. Anti-liberal group Focus on the Family today released research which shows that gay divorce rates have soared since the ban on gay marriage ended.
"'While we think homosexuality is innately evil, we were impressed at the way the gay community achieved a divorce rate of 0%,' said Focus on the Family founder James Dobson. 'It certainly compared favourably with the straight community, where 1 in 4 marriages now end in divorce.' ..." Source: The Chaser
In the interests of being 'fair and balanced', here's an article from the right-wing American Insight mag that claims that WMDs are indeed being discovered in Iraq. I thought it would be a parody article at first, but it's not:
"New evidence out of Iraq suggests that the U.S. effort to track down Saddam Hussein's missing weapons of mass destruction (WMD) is having better success than is being reported. Key assertions by the intelligence community that were widely judged in the media and by critics of President George W. Bush as having been false are turning out to have been true after all. But this stunning news has received little attention from the major media, and the president's critics continue to insist that "no weapons" have been found ..." Source, and I found it here at Sydney Indymedia (of all places) where freedom of speech still matters.
Solar alignment at Teotihuacan, City of the Gods The city of Teotihuacan, Mexico, settled in the second century BCE, was ancient when the Aztecs found its ruins. They named it 'place of the creation of the gods'.
The entrance of a ritual cave there was aligned to a point on the western skyline where the sun set on August 12 and April 29. These days are separated by day counts of 260 and 105 (making 365 in all). The ancient Mesoamerican system had a 260-day ritual calendar and a 365-day standard calendar.????? ? The same horizon position is the setting point of the Pleiades, the star cluster that makes its initial annual appearance on the first of two days each year when the noon sun passes directly overhead at the latitude of Teotihuacan.
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
"Ireland is to mount the largest security operation since independence for next weekend's May Day European summit in Dublin.
"The centre of the Irish capital will be transformed into a virtual fortress as police and troops seek to protect delegates at the ceremony marking the accession of 10 new countries into the EU ...
"... civil liberties groups and radical organisations condemned the operation, claiming it would create a virtual state of emergency in the Republic next weekend. Irish politicians including the Lord Mayor of Dublin have called for foreign protesters to be prevented from entering the Republic."
*Ø* Blogmanac | Post-WW2 division of Europe ends with EU expansion
By Adam Jasser
"WARSAW (Reuters) -- The division of Europe finally comes to an end this week when nations consigned to live under communist rule after World War Two fulfil their ambition to join the Western rich man's club, the European Union.
"From May 1, the EU will embrace not only former Warsaw Pact countries held in Moscow's grip for nearly half a century, but part of the old Soviet Union itself with the accession of the Baltic states -- Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.
"The 600-mile shift to the east will also include the Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland, Slovakia and Slovenia. Together with Cyprus and Malta, the new members will push the EU population up by 75 million to 450 million.
"Across the continent, fireworks and street parties will greet the EU's biggest one-off expansion -- from 15 to 25 members.
"Despite the euphoria, the new members are under no illusions. Even with fast economic growth, they remain poor by EU standards with wealth levels at a third of the EU average and a combined economic output at about five percent of the bloc's.
"Supporters of enlargement see the new EU as testimony of a dream to bring peace and prosperity to a continent for centuries riven by war.
"'In a modern world where people tend to use the word 'historic' far too readily, this is a truly historic development,' Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern, whose country currently holds the rotating EU presidency, said last week."
Festival of Floralia, or Floral Games, Roman Empire (Apr 28 - May 3)
In the Northern Hemisphere, Spring is well underway, the days are getting warmer, the flowers are blooming, and the birds and bees are active. The ancient Romans knew how to celebrate it.
The Floralia, or Florales Ludi, was a six-day festival for the goddess Flora, deity (originally Sabine) of flowers and youthful pleasures, whose cult was said to have been introduced by Numa.
Flora was also the goddess of Spring, especially associated with vines, olives, fruit trees and honey-bearing plants. A temple was built for her at the Circus Maxima between the Aventine and the Palatine hills, and a shrine at the Quirinal at which corn stalks were offered. When Augustus became Pontifex Maximus, he built a chapel to Vesta in his own house on the Palatine, and dedicated it on this day, which was made a public holiday.
It was a festival of sexual fun and liberty and marked by the consumption of oceans of grog. Beans and other seeds were planted, representing fecundity. Originally a movable feast controlled by the condition of the crops and flowers, it’s believed to have been instituted in 238 BCE under the command of an oracle in the Sibylline books, with the purpose of gaining from the goddess the protection of the blossoms. Games were instituted in honour of Flora at that time, but were soon discontinued before being restored in 173 BCE in the consulship of L Postumius Albinus and M Popilius Laenas as a six-day festival, after storms had destroyed crops and vines.
Day and night there were games, pantomimes, theatre and stripteases with people of all classes in their brightest clothes, all decked out in flowers – even their animals were garlanded and Rome must have looked particularly beautiful at this time. Goats and hares were let loose as they represented fertility. Gift-giving for the season included small vegetables as tokens of sex and fertility. Use your imagination ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
*Ø* Blogmanac April 28, 1996 | Port Arthur whodunnit?
1996 At Port Arthur, Tasmania, Australia, the world’s worst ‘spree killer’ of all time, Martin Bryant, killed 35 innocent men, women and children, and wounded another 22.
Wendy Scurr was at the Broad Arrow Café that day and treated the wounded – she was almost shot herself; yet she raises many serious questions about the official version. Her name shows up in a lot of gun nut websites, but it's still an interesting angle. The question remains: how could an intellectually impaired, non-shooter have killed 35 people, wound another 22 and stop two cars with only 64 bullets?
"Martin Bryant, an intellectually impaired registered invalid with no training in the use of high powered assault weapons, could not under any circumstances have achieved or maintained the incredibly high and consistent killed-to-injured ratio and kill-rate which were bench marks of the Port Arthur massacre." This site questions the whole official version and suggests a conspiracy
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
*Ø* Blogmanac | Lest Ye Think Ye Have Religious Freedom Under The Current American Administration, Ye Have Another Think Coming!
[And you can say goodbye to separation of church and state! The following indicates just how deep in the trash heap BushCo has buried the Constitution and Bill of Rights. When someone believes they have the moral high ground, there's no limit to the evil they will commit to defend it. We're in a mess here, folks, if we don't break up this band of "moralist thugs!" -v]
BORN YESTERDAY...NOT! — Orwell Himself Couldn't Have Imagined This Bullshit!
From Shara:
The Bible college that leads to the White House The campus is immaculate, everyone is clean-cut and cheerful. But just what are they teaching at Patrick Henry College? And why do so many students end up working for George Bush? By Andrew Buncombe 21 April 2004
It is worth making clear from the outset that Patrick Henry College in rural Virginia is not your average American university. At Patrick Henry, the students -- about 75 per cent of whom have been taught at home rather than in schools -- are required to sign a statement of faith before they arrive, confirming (among other things) that they have a literal belief in the teachings of the Bible. At Patrick Henry, students must obey a curfew. They must wear their hair neatly and dress "modestly".
Students must also obey a rule stating that if they wish to hold hands with a member of the opposite sex, they must do so while walking: standing while holding hands is not permitted. And at Patrick Henry, students must sign an honour pledge that bans them from drinking alcohol unless under parental supervision.
Yet these things alone do not make the college special. There are, after all, a number of Christian establishments across the United States that enforce such a strict fundamentalist code for their students.
No, what makes Patrick Henry unique is the increasingly close -- critics say alarmingly close -- links this recently established, right-wing Christian college has with the Bush administration and the Republican establishment as a whole. This spring, of the almost 100 interns working in the White House, seven are from Patrick Henry. Another intern works for the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign, while another works for President George Bush's senior political adviser, Karl Rove. Yet another works for the Coalition Provisional Authority in Baghdad. Over the past four years, 22 conservative members of Congress have employed one or more Patrick Henry interns. Janet Ashcroft, the wife of Bush's Bible-thumping Attorney General, is one of the college's trustees.
And this is no coincidence. Rather, it is the very point. Students at Patrick Henry are on a mission to change the world: indeed, to lead the world. When, after four years or so of study, they leave their neatly-kept campus with its close-mown lawns, they do so with a drive and commitment to reshape their new environments according to the fundamentalist, right-wing vision of their college.
"God has ordained three primary social institutions to order human affairs: the family, the church, and civil government. Each of these institutions honors God when it operates under the principles of His word within its God-given scope of authority:
* * *
Civil Government. God himself has ordained government and commands that everyone must submit to government; moreover, there is no authority except that which God has established. (Romans 13: 1-5) Consequently, he who rebels against lawful authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment upon themselves. It is necessary to submit to government, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. We are to pray for all who hold public office, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. (Proverbs 14: 34-35; I Timothy 2: 1-2)
Some governments are not legitimate; some authorities are not lawful. (Hosea 8:1-4) These are governments that do not recognize or that choose to ignore that human beings are created in God's image and therefore are entitled to the enjoyment of certain rights and responsibilities that inhere in their nature. Such societies and such governments are under God's judgment. (Jeremiah 18: 7-10) Nevertheless, there is a proper way to rectify this situation.
[The founding fathers specifically determined that religion would NOT interfere in government! Just WHOM shall determine the legitimacy or lawfulness of a government? From where I sit, our current government is neither legitimate nor lawful. -v]
* * *
Institutional Mission, Vision, and Distinctives
Adopted by the Board of Trustees September 28, 2002 [Emphasis mine. -v]
The Mission of Patrick Henry College is to train Christian men and women who will lead our nation and shape our culture with timeless biblical values and fidelity to the spirit of the American founding. In order to accomplish this mission, the College provides academically excellent higher education with a biblical worldview using classical liberal arts core curriculum and apprenticeship methodology.
The Vision of Patrick Henry College is to aid in the transformation of American society by training Christian students to serve God and mankind with a passion for righteousness, justice and mercy, through careers of public service and cultural influence.
* * *
The Mission of the Department of Government is to promote practical application of biblical principles and the original intent of the founding documents of the American republic, while preparing students for lives of public service, advocacy and citizen leadership.
* Ø * Ø * Ø *
"Intelligence" Takes On New Meaning at PHC
Students studying in the newest program at Patrick Henry College do not usually wear trench coats and dark glasses. You will not see them cruising around campus in bullet-proof, rocket-equipped sports cars. And they do not drink martinis, shaken, stirred, or otherwise. But students enrolled in PHC's new strategic intelligence studies track are learning all about what it takes to join the nation's first line of defense—the men and women of the American intelligence community. [Emphasis mine. -v]
The Strategic Intelligence Program (SIP) at PHC is no simple "spy major." It is a serious, academically rigorous curriculum encompassing a range of intellectual and practical skills. Students in the program study intelligence-related fields including intelligence analysis, investigative techniques, open source data exploitation, counter-intelligence, counter-terrorism, and information dissemination. Since its inception in the fall of 2003, the SIP track (one of three possible concentrations within the existing Government major) has attracted some of the best students at PHC, a school which already draws some of the finest young students in the country. And interest among prospective applicants seems high indeed. "We are already seeing a substantial pool of applicants to this program," said SIP Director and Government Department Chairman Robert Stacey. "High school students in the home school movement and in the Christian community tend to be patriotic young men and women of high moral character and clean backgrounds. These are just the sort of people we want to train and disperse out into the intelligence community."
[Yes, this is just what all mommies and daddies see for their darling little girls and boys as they raise them up with kisses and tears. Bye-bye, my little CIA agent! There goes my little killer of evildoers! I'm so proud! I'm so happy we had no art or music training to detract from marksmanship and infiltration strategy training. She's so brilliant with high-powered rifles. He's so good at fooling innocent dissidents! We're such good patriotic parents! -v]
The stated goal of SIP is to prepare graduates for meaningful careers in the intelligence community (Central Intelligence Agency, Defense Intelligence Agency, etc.), domestic counter-terrorism and law enforcement (Department of Homeland Security, Federal Bureau of Investigations, etc.), and diplomacy (Foreign Service, State Department, etc.). These graduates will eventually work their way into positions to positively influence and shape this increasingly important part of our culture. Since the widespread proliferation of weapons of mass destruction and the tragedy of 9/11, the need for more and better information about our would-be enemies is greater than ever. "There are evil people in this world who would like nothing better than to see Americans killed and the American way of life destroyed," added Eliot Jardines, Assistant Director of SIP at Patrick Henry. "The preservation of our liberty requires constant vigilance. Who is going to do it? Who better than these young men and women of integrity and honor?" [Emphasis mine. -v]
(Also known as Hoke-tide. In the 15th and 16th centuries, in London it was called Hob-tide.) In the English tradition, Hocktide is the Monday and Tuesday following the second Sunday after Easter (Low Sunday), though the Tuesday is considered the main day. ('Tide' is an Anglo-Saxon word meaning 'time, period or season', and is obsolescent, if not obsolete, in most senses except when referring to the oceans' rise and fall.)
Long before the Industrial Revolution when people became ensnared in the long working week that still prevails for the benefit of our idle masters, work was hard but feast days were plenty. Weekends, as yet uninvented, would never have been enough for our forebears. As one sees each day in the Almy, scarcely a week – scarcely three days – went by in medieval Europe without a holiday with feasting and frolicking. (There are still societies today clinging to such lifestyles in defiance of globalization's juggernaut, but they are labelled 'primitive'.)
Hocktide was for our Western ancestors such a day of high festivity and pranks. The best known of these was 'ransoming'.
On the Monday, men would go out and about and capture women, binding them with cords and holding them for small ransoms, which was usually given to church restoration funds or charity (though a kiss was often accepted). There was equality in these fun and games, however – on the Tuesday the women could take their revenge on the men in the same way. The meaning of the word is unknown, but the custom can be traced back to the 13th century. In 1450 a bishop of Worcester inhibited these 'Hoctyde' practices. It prevailed in all parts of England, but pretty much died out early in the 1700s.
You can't keep a good prank down, though, and although not nearly so widespread as before, ransoming is still played in some places at Hocktide, as these pictures show. One of the places to keep the tradition alive is Hungerford, where another custom is to grab any dignitaries attending the Hocktide feast and for a blacksmith to put horseshoes on their feet.
Ethnic cleansing: St Brice's Day Massacre It may be that these games evolved to commemorate the dreadful massacre of thousands of Danes (Vikings) on St Brice's Day, November 13, 1002, the 1,000-year anniversary of which passed recently without war between England and Denmark ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a couple of generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs - though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
And if that doesn't get 'em, try this:
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." ~ Stephen Roberts.
An easy target I know, but I needed something to cheer me up on a dull Monday morning and this fits the bill nicely.
"Two gay lovers took off most of their clothes, climbed up a tree in New York's Central Park and spent four hours engaging in sex acts and yelling abuse at police and firefighters.
"Police said officers talked the men out of the three storey high tree last night after the parks department had sent two cherry-pickers and firefighters had deployed an inflatable rescue mattress.
"The couple, described by officials as a 32-year-old transsexual with female breasts wearing a purple thong and a 17-year-old boy in white boxer shorts, were admitted to the hospital for psychiatric evaluation ..."
1324 An entry in the Jornal de la Chambre of King Edward II shows pence a day paid to one ‘Robyn Hod’ for service to the King. (Some sources say that the first appearance in a manuscript is in William Langland's Piers Plowman (1377).)
The son of William Fitz-Ooth, Robin Ooth, or Robin Hood, dissipated his inheritance and joined a band of outlaws. He is, of course, famous for robbing from the rich to give to the poor. He is said to have died on December 24, 1247 (the dates are obviously confused after all these centuries) at a nunnery in Yorkshire.
At Kirklees, Yorkshire, a gravestone once had the (probably unauthentic) inscription:
Hear undernead dis laith stean Laiz Robert Earl of Huntington, Nea arcir ver American actor hie sa geude An piple kaud im Robin Heud. Sic utlawz as hi, an iz men, Wil England never sigh agen. Obit 24 kal. Dekembris, 1247
The facts about the life of Robin Hood are hazy at best, and December 24 is only one conjectured date of the English outlaw’s death ...
This is just a snippet of today's stories. Read all about today in folklore, historical oddities, inspiration and alternatives, with more links, at the Wilson's Almanac Book of Days, every day. Click today's date when you're there.
[Clarification: In this case, we're not accusing the gummint of requiring censorship... but, rather inspiringit. –L.]
Where's My (Bleeping) Sex? Who wants a DVD player that automatically deletes all the juicy bits of movies? One guess
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, April 23, 2004
Because what the world really needs now is more uptight little companies from Utah that will help us all block out the random messy naked blood n' guts of the world.
Companies that will, without anyone asking them to, protect us from media evildoers and exposed flesh and scary exploding things and that part in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" wherein the universe is blessed, for the briefest of moments, with the joy of Kate Winslet's radiant nipples.
This is what is happening. This is the happy godlike agenda of Utah's ClearPlay, a twee and shrill little corporation that has taken it upon itself to sit around the cube farm all day and watch countless Hollywood flicks and zap out any and all icky violent suggestive material in, say, "Lost In Translation." For your protection. How kind.
ClearPlay has, thank the Lord Almighty, developed a method that automatically bleeps out and/or completely skips over words, scenes and entire sections of Hollywood films it has deemed offensive or inappropriate, and displays the rest in sanitized, defanged, nipple-free form, so you won't ever find yourself having to explain to your precious wide-eyed heavily Ritalined 8-year-old just exactly what part of Penelope Cruz Tom Cruise is sucking in that one part of "Vanilla Sky." I mean, praise Jesus.
ClearPlay is a content-filtering company. It relieves all twitchy God-fearing Americans of the horrible and brain-draining duty of actually taking a modicum of responsibility for what they see and hear and for what they allow their children to see and hear, and replaces it all with a type of hapless willful ignorance, mislabeled as "choice."
All you have to do is buy ClearPlay's cheapass scene-deleting DVD player from Wal-Mart (of course), set the level of filtering you want from 1 to 16 (1 being, presumably, "Sex is icky" and 16 being, I suppose, "Lobotomize me now"), pop in a ClearPlay-approved DVD from your local video store and, voilà! — your movie experience is pure and holy and now shows only happy bunnies and nummy butterflies and people kissing sweetly without tongue or moan or bulge. And, lo, the world is a better place.
What a fabulous idea. Dammit, if only more companies would get into the act of protecting us from the crap put out by other, more heartless companies.
And then if only someone would launch a company to protect us from the crap put out by the company that is ostensibly protecting us from crap put out by the first company. Why, you'd never have to think for yourself ever again. What a wonderful world.
I volunteer. I am hereby starting a new company called SpankThis that will not only de-ClearPlay all Mormon-sanitized DVDs but will also, in fact, actively enhance the scary icky sexy parts and will actually saturate them in hi-res surround-sound 3-D Technicolor and display them on infinite loop on a 40-foot mobile screen, which I will then drive very slowly through the parking lots of all Wal-Marts of America whilst blaring old Black Sabbath and new Rufus Wainwright. IPO forthcoming.
But why stop there? Hell, if only the U.S. government and maybe the puppets of the FCC and the sneering lizard men of the U.S. Senate would step up and crack down on corrupt American broadcasters.
If only they would enforce their snippy interpretation of God's will and ensure everyone on the goddamn planet knows that the F-word is officially the absolute scariest and worst possible utterance you can possibly scream out, next to maybe the C-word or the V-word or "masturbate," why, we'd be so much better off. Damn, if only that would happen! Oh wait.
Let us not get into overly defensive mode here. Let us not attempt to argue that all Hollywood swill is precious and perfect and wonderful and does not deserve great heaping gobs of critical scorn.
And I have to be honest: It's all too obvious that the endless barrage of sex and violence in American culture warps the living hell out of kids' perspectives, numbs them and desensitizes them and torques their burgeoning worldviews, replaces notions of humanity and calmness and divine individual sexuality with bloody ice picks and firebombs and severed limbs raining down like Skittles. Hey, it's an angry-ex-cop-takes-revenge-on-the-evil-syndicate-with-a-bazooka-for-killing-his-family world. We just live in it.
And while it is certainly no sunny picnic trying to raise a tolerable kid amidst modern America's nasty maelstrom of smut and violence, something is dangerously wrong when parents are willing to hand over their most basic, vital responsibilities — like educating their own spawn about how to process all the myriad torments and F-words of the world — to some sanctimonious company from Salt Lake City, a firm that has taken it upon itself to delete all the disturbing moments in "Ghostbusters." And "Best in Show." And "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." I mean, thank goodness.
Something is dangerously wrong when this sort of casual, screechy censorship becomes the norm. We begin to lose sight of the far, far more sinister forces now plying your innocent child and your born-again virgin Christian sister, of the considerably darker, danker forces that deign to tell you what you should and should not be offended by, who you can and cannot marry, who we should be allowed to bomb the living crap out of without apology or explanation or provocation. Forget the bombs and the blood and the gutted school system, honey — Howard Stern just said the N-word!
We forget, furthermore, that the roughly 10,000 far more lurid slogans and predatory marketing techniques and cheapass plastic landfill merchandise being hurled at your precious wee one during, say, a one-hour stroll through the florescent wasteland of Wal-Mart do much more karmic damage than 1,000 viewings of, say, "The Matrix Revolutions." This would seem obvious.
Is this all beside the point? Hardly. Because the bottom line is, the ClearPlay way is very much the BushCo way, which is very much the John Ashcroft way, which is very much the homophobic misogynistic Christian Right way, which is very much in keeping with the panicky paranoid anti-everything timbre of post-Nipplegate America.
That is to say, we have become a population that is increasingly willing to forgo its own rights and opinions and individual spiritual paths in favor of a sort of collective numbness, a general rejection of responsibility, this ridiculous, childish view that if we just let the Powers That Be cleanse the world of all the accused evildoers and drug dealers and F-words, we will be happy and pure and flowers will smile and priests will stop ogling online porn and the rivers will run strong and clear once again.
It is a polarized, absurdist view that blinks not at all as we send hundreds of disposable U.S. soldiers off to die for appalling and indefensible and very oily reasons, but the raunchy parts of "Seabiscuit" deserves immediate attention, if not scowling legislation. [All emphasis mine. –L.]
Which is why time is of the essence. My company-filtering company, SpankThis, will be launching very soon. Remember: I have only your best interests at heart. It is for your own good. Our motto: We emphasize the sticky menacing convoluted world, so you don't have to. Free nipple jewelry and copy of "Sex Tips for the Damned" with every stock option purchased. God bless America.
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Mark Morford's Notes & Errata column appears every Wednesday and Friday on SF Gate, unless it appears on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which it never does. He also writes the Morning Fix, a deeply skewed thrice-weekly e-mail column and newsletter. Subscribe at sfgate.com/newsletters.
Iraq Could Doom Bush by Dick Morris former adviser to President Clinton and (sadly?) current Faux News commentator with related cartoons by some of the world's finest editorial cartoonists
Read the editorial with a jaundiced eye... it SO sounds like it was written by a Repug! Take special note of the comment on page 2:
"To make sure he remains out of power, we must keep a large garrison, safely ensconced at a secure base, in Iraq once we hand over power to the Iraqi Governing Council."
Swell... another overseas military base. Are they sure this was written by a Clintonista?!
NOTE: If you click "GO TO PAGE TWO" after the text of the editorial, you'll miss the entire first page of toons. You'll have another opportunity to move on after you've perused the toons. The toons are the best part of the deal anyhow!
Pages
of Days
Almanac
President
1626 New World: 'Pagan Pilgrim' Thomas Morton (1590? - 1646), royalist rake, a trader and lawyer, raised the Maypole with Amerindian allies. 
It's the merrie, merrie month, as the English have long called the beautiful month of May.
"The Ministry of Defence has launched an investigation into allegations that British soldiers have been pictured torturing an Iraqi prisoner. 
Walpurgis night, Finland, Sweden and Germany 
"Thousands of activists and organizers around the Western US will converge on San Francisco from June 3-9 to shut down the corporate takeover of basic life needs. 
"Social conservatives opposed to gay unions have called on homosexuals experiencing marital difficulties to stay together in a bid to stem alarming increases in the rate of gay family breakdown. Anti-liberal group Focus on the Family today released research which shows that gay divorce rates have soared since the ban on gay marriage ended. 
Solar alignment at Teotihuacan, City of the Gods 
"Ireland is to mount the largest security operation since independence for next weekend's May Day European summit in Dublin. 
"WARSAW (Reuters) -- The division of Europe finally comes to an end this week when nations consigned to live under communist rule after World War Two fulfil their ambition to join the Western rich man's club, the European Union.
Festival of Floralia, or Floral Games, Roman Empire (Apr 28 - May 3)
1996 At Port Arthur, Tasmania, Australia, the world’s worst ‘spree killer’ of all time, Martin Bryant, killed 35 innocent men, women and children, and wounded another 22. 
(Two weeks after Easter, English customs with a Viking background)
1324 An entry in the Jornal de la Chambre of King Edward II shows pence a day paid to one ‘Robyn Hod’ for service to the King. (Some sources say that the first appearance in a manuscript is in William Langland's Piers Plowman (1377).)
