Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Two variant stories of Creation

Creation story one

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

"So, how is everything going?" God inquired.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking. The smells, the sights, everything is wonderful. But I have just one problem. It's these breasts You have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," Eve reported.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc, she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

"That is a fair point," God replied. "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied. "But for one oversight on Your part: You see all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said: "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see, where did I put that useless boob ...?"

* Ø * Ø * Ø *

Creation story two

After some time in Paradise, Adam told the Lord he was satisfied with life and the world, but lonely.

The Lord said, "Very well, my son, I could possibly make you a partner. This partner would be loyal, constantly friendly and always reasonable. She would defend you to others when your character is unfairly impugned. She would think it shameful to share your secrets with her friends. She would be a constant delight, a good friend always. She would respect your privacy and forgive your shortcomings.

"But, Adam," God said with a serious expression, "I'm afraid this is quite a tall order, and it is extremely expensive to make such inventions. In fact, it would cost you some of your body parts. This partner I offer you would cost you an arm, all the toes on one foot, one of your eyes, two fingers ... and your nose. I might even have to take part of your abdomen."

Adam thought for a full minute.

"Tell me then," he asked the Lord. "What kind of deal can you do for a rib?"

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