*Ø* Howard snatches victory from the jaws of mediocrity
Conservatives win Australian federal election
John "Little Johnny" Howard has won a fourth term as Australian Prime Minister, gaining an increased majority for the second election running.
In his victory speech, Howard thanked everyone in his 'Liberal' Party from his deputy leader and his Treasurer, to his spin doctors and the janitor, and every member of his family including his deceased Great Auntie Margaret, Nigel his second cousin-in-law once removed, and Candy the Cat. All family members, that is, except one, who stood at his side on the stage. He's gonna cop it when he gets into bed tonight.
Mr Howard also robustly referred several times to his "leadership" of Australia, forgetting as all politicians do that the verb 'to lead', or words based on the verb, don't occur in the Australian Constitution, although more than 60 instances of words from the verb 'to represent' do. Can't blame the pollies, really – the Aussie electorate itself forgot that a century ago.
Fun in the sun
I spent an enjoyable ten hours frying in the sun handing out leaflets for the Green Party, as mentioned yesterday, on 2.5 hours sleep. I was manning a polling station in a conservative and largely elderly country town that predictably returned its member, a gentleman of the National Party. That party is somewhat to the right of Joe McCarthy so it's great to see old-fashioned values well respected in the seat of Cowper. Get a haircut, there'll be a photo-op at the lynching.
One of the highlights of the gruelling and immensely boring six-week campaign was when Nationals leader John Anderson referred to members of the Green Party as "watermelons", that is, "green on the outside and red on the inside". So I and my fellow Greens supporter standing in the sun were pleased and amused when the Greens candidate, John Carty, and a party member, Annie, turned up at our polling station with a tray of sliced watermelon to slake our thirst.
One of the highlights of the day for me was the camaraderie extended between the pamphleteers of opposing parties. Ten sunburning hours on your feet, especially my feet, can be a drag, and the diversion of conversation makes welcome relief. I really enjoyed the friendly banter between me and the foot-soldiers of parties that passionately oppose the views and policies of the party I was supporting. I seemed to be chatting half the day to people whose whole raison d'etre is to oppose what I stand for, and vice versa.
Our conversations rarely strayed into divisive topics, and we helped each other, as when a gust of wind dislodged an opponent's poster or leaflets, for example. We exchanged drinks and sunburn cream. I found myself showing an elderly elector in a motorized wheelchair how she could vote for the National Party, and the Nationals pamphleteers gave Green Party leaflets to the occasional voter when some bewildered voter rendered it appropriate. One ALP worker told me he was going to vote Green.
I note here that a nice lady from the Nationals with whom I chatted (she said she had seen Fahrenheit 9-11 but didn't understand it) bemoaned the fact that the current insurance regime in this country has destroyed community activities such as dance classes and cake stalls on the street. Non-Australian readers may be interested to know that in very recent years, escalating insurance rates for anything that might involve a public risk have forced such community activities to all but disappear ... a consequence of excessive litigation, to be sure, but not something that could not be fixed by a governmental stroke of the pen. I told the lady she should be voting Green, as John Carty's policy statement states: "John supports a federal insurance scheme to remove the prohibitive insurance costs of holding community cultural events. He believes that involvement in community based initiatives greatly enhances our quality of life." But no, better to stay on the right and watch a once-rich culture die before our eyes.
Your almanackist spent much of the day in very pleasant discussions with workers for the Christian Democrats, although our views are poles apart. (This is despite the fact that I have long known its leader, Rev. Fred Nile, who married me in 1973; in fact, I stake a proud claim to being perhaps the only human being to have in my resumé a written reference from Dr Bob Brown, the famed gay leader of the Greens, and Rev. Nile, the famed anti-gay leader of the Christian Democrats!) One of the CDs tried to save me, but he found my devotion to the Lord of Darkness to be profound and immoveable.
My fellow Greens worker, a man of German citizenship, expressed amazement at the good-naturedness among the footsoldiers, something he assured me wouldn't happen in Europe. I'm pleased that there are still some things about Australia that engender pride, notwithstanding an execrable government whose economic rationalism has the effect of eroding small communities to an alarming degree.
Hip-pocket nerve
Howard's record-breaking electoral victory was based on a campaign that successfully dodged issues of human rights and pre-emptive invasion, and concentrated on the hip-pocket nerve of the Australian elector, a strategy that can always be assured of success. Working hard for John Howard, caught on the back foot, was his putative opponent and leader of the Australian Labor Party, the dazzlingly undazzling Mark Latham, who also found a way to get a dollar sign into every one of his banal speeches.
John Howard, despite his nervous mannerisms and spectacular bald-accountant sex appeal, is a consummate and seasoned politician with a gut understanding that no politician ever tasted defeat by underestimating the altruism of the Australian Mum and Dad. Australians can expect three more years of similar pork-barreling as well as more cynical political pandering to an almost limitless list of unbecoming prejudices.
With the virtuoso mediocrity of the Labor Party now in even greater disarray than before today's humiliation, Howard will be able to drive a Mack truck through the usual defences of Australian decency and a Caterpillar dozer over reasonable comprehension of what's really going on in the confusing world outside the Liberal/National coalition's Leave it to Beaver vision.
Finally, in closing, lastly, and at the end of the day, I'd like to thank my campaign manager, my next-door neighbour, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, my orthodontist, Mr Spielberg, Jesus of course, and what's-her-name ... the missus.
Conservatives win Australian federal election
John "Little Johnny" Howard has won a fourth term as Australian Prime Minister, gaining an increased majority for the second election running.
In his victory speech, Howard thanked everyone in his 'Liberal' Party from his deputy leader and his Treasurer, to his spin doctors and the janitor, and every member of his family including his deceased Great Auntie Margaret, Nigel his second cousin-in-law once removed, and Candy the Cat. All family members, that is, except one, who stood at his side on the stage. He's gonna cop it when he gets into bed tonight.
Mr Howard also robustly referred several times to his "leadership" of Australia, forgetting as all politicians do that the verb 'to lead', or words based on the verb, don't occur in the Australian Constitution, although more than 60 instances of words from the verb 'to represent' do. Can't blame the pollies, really – the Aussie electorate itself forgot that a century ago.
Fun in the sun
I spent an enjoyable ten hours frying in the sun handing out leaflets for the Green Party, as mentioned yesterday, on 2.5 hours sleep. I was manning a polling station in a conservative and largely elderly country town that predictably returned its member, a gentleman of the National Party. That party is somewhat to the right of Joe McCarthy so it's great to see old-fashioned values well respected in the seat of Cowper. Get a haircut, there'll be a photo-op at the lynching.
One of the highlights of the gruelling and immensely boring six-week campaign was when Nationals leader John Anderson referred to members of the Green Party as "watermelons", that is, "green on the outside and red on the inside". So I and my fellow Greens supporter standing in the sun were pleased and amused when the Greens candidate, John Carty, and a party member, Annie, turned up at our polling station with a tray of sliced watermelon to slake our thirst.
One of the highlights of the day for me was the camaraderie extended between the pamphleteers of opposing parties. Ten sunburning hours on your feet, especially my feet, can be a drag, and the diversion of conversation makes welcome relief. I really enjoyed the friendly banter between me and the foot-soldiers of parties that passionately oppose the views and policies of the party I was supporting. I seemed to be chatting half the day to people whose whole raison d'etre is to oppose what I stand for, and vice versa.
Our conversations rarely strayed into divisive topics, and we helped each other, as when a gust of wind dislodged an opponent's poster or leaflets, for example. We exchanged drinks and sunburn cream. I found myself showing an elderly elector in a motorized wheelchair how she could vote for the National Party, and the Nationals pamphleteers gave Green Party leaflets to the occasional voter when some bewildered voter rendered it appropriate. One ALP worker told me he was going to vote Green.
I note here that a nice lady from the Nationals with whom I chatted (she said she had seen Fahrenheit 9-11 but didn't understand it) bemoaned the fact that the current insurance regime in this country has destroyed community activities such as dance classes and cake stalls on the street. Non-Australian readers may be interested to know that in very recent years, escalating insurance rates for anything that might involve a public risk have forced such community activities to all but disappear ... a consequence of excessive litigation, to be sure, but not something that could not be fixed by a governmental stroke of the pen. I told the lady she should be voting Green, as John Carty's policy statement states: "John supports a federal insurance scheme to remove the prohibitive insurance costs of holding community cultural events. He believes that involvement in community based initiatives greatly enhances our quality of life." But no, better to stay on the right and watch a once-rich culture die before our eyes.
Your almanackist spent much of the day in very pleasant discussions with workers for the Christian Democrats, although our views are poles apart. (This is despite the fact that I have long known its leader, Rev. Fred Nile, who married me in 1973; in fact, I stake a proud claim to being perhaps the only human being to have in my resumé a written reference from Dr Bob Brown, the famed gay leader of the Greens, and Rev. Nile, the famed anti-gay leader of the Christian Democrats!) One of the CDs tried to save me, but he found my devotion to the Lord of Darkness to be profound and immoveable.
My fellow Greens worker, a man of German citizenship, expressed amazement at the good-naturedness among the footsoldiers, something he assured me wouldn't happen in Europe. I'm pleased that there are still some things about Australia that engender pride, notwithstanding an execrable government whose economic rationalism has the effect of eroding small communities to an alarming degree.
Hip-pocket nerve
Howard's record-breaking electoral victory was based on a campaign that successfully dodged issues of human rights and pre-emptive invasion, and concentrated on the hip-pocket nerve of the Australian elector, a strategy that can always be assured of success. Working hard for John Howard, caught on the back foot, was his putative opponent and leader of the Australian Labor Party, the dazzlingly undazzling Mark Latham, who also found a way to get a dollar sign into every one of his banal speeches.
John Howard, despite his nervous mannerisms and spectacular bald-accountant sex appeal, is a consummate and seasoned politician with a gut understanding that no politician ever tasted defeat by underestimating the altruism of the Australian Mum and Dad. Australians can expect three more years of similar pork-barreling as well as more cynical political pandering to an almost limitless list of unbecoming prejudices.
With the virtuoso mediocrity of the Labor Party now in even greater disarray than before today's humiliation, Howard will be able to drive a Mack truck through the usual defences of Australian decency and a Caterpillar dozer over reasonable comprehension of what's really going on in the confusing world outside the Liberal/National coalition's Leave it to Beaver vision.
Finally, in closing, lastly, and at the end of the day, I'd like to thank my campaign manager, my next-door neighbour, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, my orthodontist, Mr Spielberg, Jesus of course, and what's-her-name ... the missus.
Pip Wilson posted item above at 10:58 PM | Permalink
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