*Ø* Blogmanac | 'When shaking hands with the President ...'
By Andrew Marlatt and Tony Roche
From: The White House
To: Her Majesty's Lord Chancellor of Protocol
Sir: The President and Mrs. Bush are excited by their upcoming state visit to the United Kingdom and their audience with Queen Elizabeth II. However, if we may speak humbly, it is inevitable, when meeting the ruler of an Empire, that apprehensions arise concerning proper etiquette, i.e., how to present oneself, what to say, when to bow, etc. Therefore, as we do not wish an unintentional breach of protocol to dampen our special relationship, we hope the following notes will assist Her Majesty and all Britons in their efforts to behave appropriately in the presence of the President.
ADDRESS
- As the elective head of state, President Bush should initially be addressed as "Mr. President," and subsequently as "Sir." Please note that his official title -- "President of the United States of America and Sovereign Pro Tempore of Afghanistan, Iraq, and (Your Country Here)" -- is for internal use only.
- It is never appropriate to refer to the President in familiar terms, such as, "Dubya," "George," "41," or, if one is Prince Charles, "Sweetie." Prime Minister Blair, however, shall be permitted to employ his pet name for the President: "Daddy."
- The wife of the President is called the First Lady, and should initially be addressed as "Mrs. Bush" and thereafter as "Ma'am." It will not be appropriate to utilize endearments such as "Laura," "Lubya," or "Mrs. World Domination."
ARRIVAL
- When the President enters a room, it is customary for all in attendance to stand and applaud. As is done in America, women should "hoot," while men continuously "whoop." However, as he does not wish to infringe on local custom or discomfit the Royal Family, the President will not be offended if Her Majesty chooses to hoot from a seated position.
- Tradition dictates that in America, the President is "first among equals," and therefore, the President would consider bowing and curtsying to be ostentatious and inappropriate. For Americans.
- When shaking hands with the President, one's free hand should be used to flash the "thumbs-up" sign as a show of support, and also to signal that one carries no weaponry.
CONVERSATION- If one is concerned that a particular topic is unsuitable or indecorous, err on the side of caution. Acceptable subjects include: the weather, pledges of more British troops, exporting Democracy, pledges of more British troops, and jokes about the French, (but please, not in French).
- Subjects one should avoid include: questions that end in " ... and you call that victory?," and questions that begin with, "Hey, did you guys ever find ... ?"
- The President is celebrated for a colloquial conversational style that includes the bestowing of nicknames and the appearance of a certain unfamiliarity with our shared language. However, we expect the British people to recognize and embrace any perceived linguistic differences, and to take no offence when the President slaps Her Majesty on the back and refers to her as "La Wench del Windsor." (The President enjoys Spanish.)
SEATING
- A note to Palace staff: Unlike his predecessor, President Bush will not be bringing his wife and "a date," so there shall be no need for an extra chair.
STATE LUNCHEONS AND DINNERS
- The President should be seated first. During the meal, one should follow his lead, e.g., elbows off the table, napkin across lap, barbecue sauce on appetizer, entrée, then dessert.
PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS BEFORE PARLIAMENT
- It is a tradition in your British Parliament for Members to interrupt the speaker in order to display support or disapproval. This is considered impolite in American politics, but the President recognizes and respects the traditions of other cultures and will, therefore, meet you halfway, i.e., you will be allowed to show support.
PROTESTING
- President Bush comes from a society that values free speech, and he will not be made uncomfortable if your government allows its citizens to express dissatisfaction with America or its policies, or in any other way gives the President cause to believe Great Britain wishes to have its name added to the list of terrorist nations.
GIFTS
- As is customary on such occasions, your government will wish to present to the President gifts reflective of British culture. We suggest:
- Tea
- Woollens
- Glassware
- Rumours involving Prince Charles and Howard Dean
- Scotland
[Thanx Colleen Spence and pagans4peace]
By Andrew Marlatt and Tony Roche
From: The White House
To: Her Majesty's Lord Chancellor of Protocol
Sir: The President and Mrs. Bush are excited by their upcoming state visit to the United Kingdom and their audience with Queen Elizabeth II. However, if we may speak humbly, it is inevitable, when meeting the ruler of an Empire, that apprehensions arise concerning proper etiquette, i.e., how to present oneself, what to say, when to bow, etc. Therefore, as we do not wish an unintentional breach of protocol to dampen our special relationship, we hope the following notes will assist Her Majesty and all Britons in their efforts to behave appropriately in the presence of the President.
ADDRESS
- As the elective head of state, President Bush should initially be addressed as "Mr. President," and subsequently as "Sir." Please note that his official title -- "President of the United States of America and Sovereign Pro Tempore of Afghanistan, Iraq, and (Your Country Here)" -- is for internal use only.
- It is never appropriate to refer to the President in familiar terms, such as, "Dubya," "George," "41," or, if one is Prince Charles, "Sweetie." Prime Minister Blair, however, shall be permitted to employ his pet name for the President: "Daddy."
- The wife of the President is called the First Lady, and should initially be addressed as "Mrs. Bush" and thereafter as "Ma'am." It will not be appropriate to utilize endearments such as "Laura," "Lubya," or "Mrs. World Domination."
ARRIVAL
- When the President enters a room, it is customary for all in attendance to stand and applaud. As is done in America, women should "hoot," while men continuously "whoop." However, as he does not wish to infringe on local custom or discomfit the Royal Family, the President will not be offended if Her Majesty chooses to hoot from a seated position.
- Tradition dictates that in America, the President is "first among equals," and therefore, the President would consider bowing and curtsying to be ostentatious and inappropriate. For Americans.
- When shaking hands with the President, one's free hand should be used to flash the "thumbs-up" sign as a show of support, and also to signal that one carries no weaponry.
CONVERSATION- If one is concerned that a particular topic is unsuitable or indecorous, err on the side of caution. Acceptable subjects include: the weather, pledges of more British troops, exporting Democracy, pledges of more British troops, and jokes about the French, (but please, not in French).
- Subjects one should avoid include: questions that end in " ... and you call that victory?," and questions that begin with, "Hey, did you guys ever find ... ?"
- The President is celebrated for a colloquial conversational style that includes the bestowing of nicknames and the appearance of a certain unfamiliarity with our shared language. However, we expect the British people to recognize and embrace any perceived linguistic differences, and to take no offence when the President slaps Her Majesty on the back and refers to her as "La Wench del Windsor." (The President enjoys Spanish.)
SEATING
- A note to Palace staff: Unlike his predecessor, President Bush will not be bringing his wife and "a date," so there shall be no need for an extra chair.
STATE LUNCHEONS AND DINNERS
- The President should be seated first. During the meal, one should follow his lead, e.g., elbows off the table, napkin across lap, barbecue sauce on appetizer, entrée, then dessert.
PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS BEFORE PARLIAMENT
- It is a tradition in your British Parliament for Members to interrupt the speaker in order to display support or disapproval. This is considered impolite in American politics, but the President recognizes and respects the traditions of other cultures and will, therefore, meet you halfway, i.e., you will be allowed to show support.
PROTESTING
- President Bush comes from a society that values free speech, and he will not be made uncomfortable if your government allows its citizens to express dissatisfaction with America or its policies, or in any other way gives the President cause to believe Great Britain wishes to have its name added to the list of terrorist nations.
GIFTS
- As is customary on such occasions, your government will wish to present to the President gifts reflective of British culture. We suggest:
- Tea
- Woollens
- Glassware
- Rumours involving Prince Charles and Howard Dean
- Scotland
[Thanx Colleen Spence and pagans4peace]
Pip Wilson posted item above at 11:51 PM | Permalink
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