*Ø* Blogmanac | Give unto Caesar ... a kick in the arse
Why don't Christians kill with their own hands?
In Bali, the head of the Protestant Christian Church is Bishop Suyaga Ayub. In Bali, Amrozi is going to be killed. Amrozi is the religious fanatic who murdered 202 people in Bali last October; got sentenced to death; smiled and yelled that he would now be a happy martyr in Allah's Paradise; then launched an appeal against the sentence. Damn Mooslims, such hypocrites, everyone's saying with a laugh.
Meanwhile, back at the episcopal palace, Bishop Ayub has these devotional words to say about Indonesia's plan to execute Amrozi:
" ... when Jesus came to the world he was saying that 'please take a coin. Pay it to the government, it is for the government, and pay to God what belongs to God'. In this point, you see, we as Indonesians, we have our government, and then we honour our government, they are also elected by God. And this is the Indonesian law, so for this reason I completely understand why this decision should be done. If the people ask me 'will you do it, to kill?', then I say 'no, I will not'." Source
In other words, the bishop believes that Christians shouldn't kill, but if his government kills, he will support it because Jesus Christ said we should support whatever governments do. Even authoritarian governments. What's more, governments are 'elected by God'. Is this a Florida thing?
In theological parlance, this is technically called 'a Crock of Shit'.
Misinterpretation of the words of Jesus
Of course, it's not an uncommon view among Christians, and it helps people like former Governor George W Bush not only execute people at a greater rate than any nation of barbarous darkies, but gives them the gumption to grow up to invade sovereign nations and kill lots of trophy sand niggers.
But whence arises the Christian notion of obeying governments? The answer to this, like the answer to most Christian follies, is to be found in a narrow and probably erroneous interpretation of just a small passage in the Bible:
And they sent unto him certain of the Pharisees and of the Herodians, to catch him in his words. And when they were come, they said unto him, 'Master, we know that thou art true, and carest for no man; for thou regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth: Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar, or not? Shall we give, or shall we not give?' But he, knowing their hypocrisy, said unto them, ‘Why tempt ye me? Bring me a coin, that I may see it.' And they brought it. And he saith unto them, ‘Whose is this image and superscription?' And they said unto him, 'Caesar's.' And Jesus answering said unto them, ‘Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's.' And they marveled at him.
Gospel of Mark 12:13-17
Although I'm reasonably confident that it's a profoundly foolish thing to subordinate one's own will to the sayings of another person, let's assume for the purpose of this discussion that a man who lived in Palestine 2,000 years ago has authority in this legal and ethical matter, as the Bishop of Bali apparently believes.
Firstly, we note that a group of men tried to catch Jesus out so that he would defy the law by saying that people shouldn't pay tax. I think it is not too long a bow to draw to assume that Jesus had a reputation for doing just that, making it likely to be the reason for their trick question. My reading of the New Testament tells me that Jesus, Peter and others had a distinctly anti-authoritarian perspective. However, we do not have enough documentation to confirm or refute my assumption so it is unfalsifiable and I put it in the category of 'impelling hunch'.
It was a joke, buddy! Sheesh! Just a joke!
Be that as it may, the second point that I would like to make (another impelling hunch, friends) is that Jesus, whom I find often to be a humorous teacher, was obviously making an ironic joke. I understand that some cultures deal with irony better than others – just watch an American sitcom or an Indian romance movie to verify – and some individuals, let's face it, are dumb as a box of rocks. But, come on, Bish! Your Grace! It's a joke! You really don't get it?
It seems to me that Jesus always preached the importance of divinity and of individual salvation, and never nationalism, murder, revenge, punishment, subordination nor servility. If one accepts my apparently heretical view of Jesus the cheese-eating surrender monkey, clearly what the good Lord is saying is "Give to God what is God's", namely, everything, and "give to Caesar what is Caesar's", namely nothing – or else a solid kick up the arse.
This, of course, is a matter of interpretation and probably informed by my own bleedingheartliberalhandwringer worldview, just as, I submit, the interpretations of other people are also subjective. However, how likely is it, given the nature of the recorded ministry of the Prince of Peace, that in the analogy of the coin of Tiberius Caesar (pictured above) Jesus would be condoning the killing of other human beings?
So what's the point of religion, Your Grace?
To Bishop Ayub, I would ask, what is the possible point of a religion that sanctifies homicide? I mean, a bloke can be a blaspheming, hell-bound heathen like me and still want people knocked off by some grimy Indonesian execution squad, so why have a bloody religion at all? And what happened to "Man was made in the image of God"? Makes you a tad uncomfortable, no? What do you think The Bloke Upstairs thinks of the fascist bastards that run Indonesia? What do you suppose the Grand Architect of the Universe thinks of Australia's Prime Minister John Howard, another Bible basher, who approves of having ten Javanese thugs spraying Amrozi's vital organs across some filthy Indonesian wall? Your Grace, have you ever seen what a few dozen modern rifle bullets do to the chest of one of God's children? You know minced meat?
And further, Your Grace, I see you want others to kill Amrozi, but you would not do it yourself because you are a Christian. Don't you just marvel at how many times Jesus called religious people hypocrites? Seems to me like it was his big thing.
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"Sanctity of human life demands capital punishment"
Why don't Christians kill with their own hands?
In Bali, the head of the Protestant Christian Church is Bishop Suyaga Ayub. In Bali, Amrozi is going to be killed. Amrozi is the religious fanatic who murdered 202 people in Bali last October; got sentenced to death; smiled and yelled that he would now be a happy martyr in Allah's Paradise; then launched an appeal against the sentence. Damn Mooslims, such hypocrites, everyone's saying with a laugh.
Meanwhile, back at the episcopal palace, Bishop Ayub has these devotional words to say about Indonesia's plan to execute Amrozi:
" ... when Jesus came to the world he was saying that 'please take a coin. Pay it to the government, it is for the government, and pay to God what belongs to God'. In this point, you see, we as Indonesians, we have our government, and then we honour our government, they are also elected by God. And this is the Indonesian law, so for this reason I completely understand why this decision should be done. If the people ask me 'will you do it, to kill?', then I say 'no, I will not'." Source
In other words, the bishop believes that Christians shouldn't kill, but if his government kills, he will support it because Jesus Christ said we should support whatever governments do. Even authoritarian governments. What's more, governments are 'elected by God'. Is this a Florida thing?
In theological parlance, this is technically called 'a Crock of Shit'.
Misinterpretation of the words of Jesus
Of course, it's not an uncommon view among Christians, and it helps people like former Governor George W Bush not only execute people at a greater rate than any nation of barbarous darkies, but gives them the gumption to grow up to invade sovereign nations and kill lots of trophy sand niggers.
But whence arises the Christian notion of obeying governments? The answer to this, like the answer to most Christian follies, is to be found in a narrow and probably erroneous interpretation of just a small passage in the Bible:
And they sent unto him certain of the Pharisees and of the Herodians, to catch him in his words. And when they were come, they said unto him, 'Master, we know that thou art true, and carest for no man; for thou regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth: Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar, or not? Shall we give, or shall we not give?' But he, knowing their hypocrisy, said unto them, ‘Why tempt ye me? Bring me a coin, that I may see it.' And they brought it. And he saith unto them, ‘Whose is this image and superscription?' And they said unto him, 'Caesar's.' And Jesus answering said unto them, ‘Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's.' And they marveled at him.
Gospel of Mark 12:13-17
Although I'm reasonably confident that it's a profoundly foolish thing to subordinate one's own will to the sayings of another person, let's assume for the purpose of this discussion that a man who lived in Palestine 2,000 years ago has authority in this legal and ethical matter, as the Bishop of Bali apparently believes.
Firstly, we note that a group of men tried to catch Jesus out so that he would defy the law by saying that people shouldn't pay tax. I think it is not too long a bow to draw to assume that Jesus had a reputation for doing just that, making it likely to be the reason for their trick question. My reading of the New Testament tells me that Jesus, Peter and others had a distinctly anti-authoritarian perspective. However, we do not have enough documentation to confirm or refute my assumption so it is unfalsifiable and I put it in the category of 'impelling hunch'.
It was a joke, buddy! Sheesh! Just a joke!
Be that as it may, the second point that I would like to make (another impelling hunch, friends) is that Jesus, whom I find often to be a humorous teacher, was obviously making an ironic joke. I understand that some cultures deal with irony better than others – just watch an American sitcom or an Indian romance movie to verify – and some individuals, let's face it, are dumb as a box of rocks. But, come on, Bish! Your Grace! It's a joke! You really don't get it?
It seems to me that Jesus always preached the importance of divinity and of individual salvation, and never nationalism, murder, revenge, punishment, subordination nor servility. If one accepts my apparently heretical view of Jesus the cheese-eating surrender monkey, clearly what the good Lord is saying is "Give to God what is God's", namely, everything, and "give to Caesar what is Caesar's", namely nothing – or else a solid kick up the arse.
This, of course, is a matter of interpretation and probably informed by my own bleedingheartliberalhandwringer worldview, just as, I submit, the interpretations of other people are also subjective. However, how likely is it, given the nature of the recorded ministry of the Prince of Peace, that in the analogy of the coin of Tiberius Caesar (pictured above) Jesus would be condoning the killing of other human beings?
So what's the point of religion, Your Grace?
To Bishop Ayub, I would ask, what is the possible point of a religion that sanctifies homicide? I mean, a bloke can be a blaspheming, hell-bound heathen like me and still want people knocked off by some grimy Indonesian execution squad, so why have a bloody religion at all? And what happened to "Man was made in the image of God"? Makes you a tad uncomfortable, no? What do you think The Bloke Upstairs thinks of the fascist bastards that run Indonesia? What do you suppose the Grand Architect of the Universe thinks of Australia's Prime Minister John Howard, another Bible basher, who approves of having ten Javanese thugs spraying Amrozi's vital organs across some filthy Indonesian wall? Your Grace, have you ever seen what a few dozen modern rifle bullets do to the chest of one of God's children? You know minced meat?
And further, Your Grace, I see you want others to kill Amrozi, but you would not do it yourself because you are a Christian. Don't you just marvel at how many times Jesus called religious people hypocrites? Seems to me like it was his big thing.
Pip Wilson's articles are available for your publication, on application. Further details
Receive similar items free each day with a free subscription to Wilson's Almanac ezine. Send a blank email
"Sanctity of human life demands capital punishment"
Pip Wilson posted item above at 9:18 PM | Permalink
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