Saturday, February 06, 2010

Crystals can't heal, only harm

If you ever go into a shop that sells crystals (which the shopkeeper might pretend, without a shred of evidence, have healing properties), ask them whether the crystals were extracted from wilderness with dynamite, gelignite, or by the old-fashioned method of crowbars wielded by semi-starving peasants. If you see crystals on the mantelpieces of New Agey and yuppie friends, ask them if their conscience is troubled. I do it at every opportunity, because I'm obviously not spiritually evolved, and I love Nature. Try it, if you dare. But it's not really a great way to make friends and influence cretins. And remember, cretins outnumber rational people by about 10,000 to one, so be prepared for a backlash. To obviate a lashed back, hide a large book down the back of your shirt. Crystal people don't know what a book is, so you have every chance of surviving unscathed.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous Anne Wayman said...

Oh Pip, as usual you're right on, or mostly...

1:53 AM  
Blogger Snowbrush said...

Some quote almost comes to mind, something about "all the things that we pretend not to know about..." Things like how meat is produced and how gems are obtained. I just didn't expect to hear such words from a shaman.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Pip said...

Thanks, Snowbrush. But I don't know who the shaman is. Anyway, I've written on this subject for donkey's years, and it's good to have someone hear for a change. I'm all for boycotting crystals, and exposing crystal healers for the shams they are.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Snowbrush said...

Go to your profile and look at your occupation. It says "shaman." Damn Alzheimer's!

1:36 PM  
Blogger Pip said...

Oh,sure, I didn't know you were talking about me. I am a shaman. But for the life of me, Snowbrush, I don't know what you're talking about, mate. I don't know if you like the crystal trade and the gelignite, dynamite, etc. Your comment is probably a good one, but I can't decipher it. What's meat got to do with it? Cheers,and in confusion .... Shaman Pip

6:25 PM  
Blogger Snowbrush said...

No, no, no, no, no, I completely got your point and agreed with it. I just have the impression that shamans might be into things like crystal healing, and so therefore might not have the desire to inquire too closely about where those crystals come from.

I mentioned meat because, like crystals, its production results in much unnecessary suffering and environmental degradation, yet most people are willing to ignore all that, just as most people are willing to buy crystals without caring how they were obtained.

I'm sorry I was abstruse.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Pip said...

Mate, you are less abstruse than I am ignorant. Now I see quite perfectly about which we are talking. At least one of us makes a lot of sense, and I put you first. Sorry, and thanx. Pip

8:15 PM  
Blogger Pip said...

I am a shaman self-ordained in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I am a devotee of Discordianism (hail Eris!) and I worship J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs.

8:16 PM  
Blogger Snowbrush said...

No, I put YOU first, because you are a truly well and highly credentialed shaman. Next time I need to be shamanized, I'll be flying across the Pacific to see you.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Pip said...

I'm not worthy, but I am welcoming. I look forward to it, brother.

10:56 PM  

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