Sports news belongs to some century I don't live in

Me and cousin in 1958

When I was a little boy, I used to hit balls with pieces of wood. I also sometimes picked my nose and ate it, and occasionally wet the bed. I played with my willy too much. But I grew out of most of these things.

Why the Australian taxpayer-funded ABC News should lead their broadcasts today with news about some physically grown man who is good at hitting a ball with a piece of wood, or throwing a ball at another apparently grown man holding a piece of wood (I forget which), is a complete mystery to me.

What happened in the world today? How many thousands of people died in wars, and what can we do to prevent more deaths? How many kiddies died of hunger, and who can we praise for helping to stop the calamities? Where are new wars likely to break out? How many millions of people in Africa, Thailand and New Guinea have AIDS, and how can we help?

Which species became extinct today? Was it tens, hundreds or thousands? Which of them were insects, which were birds, which fish, and which mammals? Which South Pacific Islanders had to evacuate their home island today because of rising sea levels? How much did such-and-such a politician spend today on his limousines, or on sumptuous parties for foreign dignitaries and executives of transnational corporations? What order was signed by which businessman to provide awesomely wicked weapons to feuding tribespeople? That is the news we need to hear -- it's what we want to hear.

What can we do to improve this bloody mess the world is in? Surely not praise big kids who play with balls and pieces of wood. These men, and the people who report their antics, are idiots, pure and simple. You know it, and I know it. This much is one of the few clear things in the world today. Sports news goes beyond the domain of idiocy and enters the realm of culpability.

Let news be about news, for God's sake. Is ABC News staffed by complete cretins, or clever people who think that you and I are cretins? Something has to give -- in the 21st Century with all its challenges on a dying planet, this puerile shit is no longer acceptable. Only people can change this. You and I are people. We must demand that it stops -- finito. No more. Enough is enough!

The people who can do the most to set things on the reality track are the sports people themselves. I challenge them ... put down your pieces of wood and start thinking and speaking. Millions of people listen to you. Inexplicable, sure enough, but true.

Only people can change the situation. Not Jesus, Buddha or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. A million heads are better than one, so come on!

Tagged: abc, radio, sport