Bush vows to cut US dependence on oil by 4920

"WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush unveiled an aggressive initiative Monday that would make the U.S. free of petroleum dependence by the year 4920, less than three millennia from now.

"'Our mission is clear,' Bush said in a speech delivered at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. 'We must free ourselves from dependence on fossil fuels within 85 generations. A cleaner, safer America is my vision. And it is our great, great-great-times-80 grandchildren who will realize that vision.'"
The Onion