*Ø* Osama Fires Publicist

No Mention At Convention Has Madman Miffed

"Al Qaeda kingpin Osama bin Laden, reportedly 'furious' that his name was not mentioned once at last week's Republican National Convention, fired his publicist today and warned that more changes in the Qaeda publicity department may be imminent.

"According to sources close to Mr. bin Laden, the Qaeda kingpin had eagerly anticipated watching the Republican gathering in its entirety, hoping to hear his name bitterly invoked dozens of times by G.O.P. speakers.

"But after hearing four nights' worth of speakers excoriating Democratic nominee John Kerry instead of him, an increasingly riled bin Laden picked up the phone and fired his publicist, David Grenway of the Grenway Group, a leading New York public relations firm."

Continue at The Borowitz Report