*Ø* USA to charge 42 million with war crimes
Now that Australian David Hicks has been charged with war crimes, plans are afoot in the US administration to charge retrospectively every soldier who has ever been in an army that was an enemy of the United States.
Mr Donald Rumsfeld told a packed press conference in the White House's Eva Braun Garden that the Hicks case had inspired a general feeling of "yeah, we can do this" in the White Bunker. "We used operate on this narrow notion that a war crime is when you go into a village and kill all the babies. You know, like we did at My Lai. And all those rinky-dink countries. But we define that as psyops now. Then that Aussie punk comes along, and Ashcroft says to me, 'Hey, if that Aussie guy can be charged with war crimes just for training in an enemy military camp, it should be a walkover to charge the Japs for World War Two.' The Germans and Italians was my idea. We almost forgot the Ruskies but that one was the President's."
Apparently the idea of retrospectivity can also be attributed to the Hicks case. "You can thank Lynnnnndddie ... I mean, Condolleeeezzzza for that," Mr Rumsfeld giggled. "The President was concerned that there was no precedent for charging the British for fighting us so long ago, till I pointed out that the Aussie has been more than two years in detention and no one cared, in fact we have shitloads of prisons full of war criminals over there in Cuba and Eye-raq, so ... retrospeckshmivity."
"It's just a shame that we let all those soldiers in the past go free after their terrorist actions, but they won't get away with it for much longer", he added.
When asked how the United States could possibly charge every service man and woman in the world, and through all history, with war crimes, and carry out prosecutions, Mr Rumsfeld replied that the concept that the USA can not do anything at all does not make grammatical sense and asked for the sentence to be re-worded.
An order for 42 million orange jump suits and 84 million testicle electrodes has been placed with a corporation jointly owned by the White House, Standard Oil, Enron and Halliburton.
No word has been heard of the other Australian, Mamdouh Habib, believed to be being held in the Colored Guys section of Guantanamo Bay, from which no one has ever emerged.
Now that Australian David Hicks has been charged with war crimes, plans are afoot in the US administration to charge retrospectively every soldier who has ever been in an army that was an enemy of the United States.
Mr Donald Rumsfeld told a packed press conference in the White House's Eva Braun Garden that the Hicks case had inspired a general feeling of "yeah, we can do this" in the White Bunker. "We used operate on this narrow notion that a war crime is when you go into a village and kill all the babies. You know, like we did at My Lai. And all those rinky-dink countries. But we define that as psyops now. Then that Aussie punk comes along, and Ashcroft says to me, 'Hey, if that Aussie guy can be charged with war crimes just for training in an enemy military camp, it should be a walkover to charge the Japs for World War Two.' The Germans and Italians was my idea. We almost forgot the Ruskies but that one was the President's."
Apparently the idea of retrospectivity can also be attributed to the Hicks case. "You can thank Lynnnnndddie ... I mean, Condolleeeezzzza for that," Mr Rumsfeld giggled. "The President was concerned that there was no precedent for charging the British for fighting us so long ago, till I pointed out that the Aussie has been more than two years in detention and no one cared, in fact we have shitloads of prisons full of war criminals over there in Cuba and Eye-raq, so ... retrospeckshmivity."
"It's just a shame that we let all those soldiers in the past go free after their terrorist actions, but they won't get away with it for much longer", he added.
When asked how the United States could possibly charge every service man and woman in the world, and through all history, with war crimes, and carry out prosecutions, Mr Rumsfeld replied that the concept that the USA can not do anything at all does not make grammatical sense and asked for the sentence to be re-worded.
An order for 42 million orange jump suits and 84 million testicle electrodes has been placed with a corporation jointly owned by the White House, Standard Oil, Enron and Halliburton.
No word has been heard of the other Australian, Mamdouh Habib, believed to be being held in the Colored Guys section of Guantanamo Bay, from which no one has ever emerged.
Pip Wilson posted item above at 7:39 AM | Permalink
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